Give me love
by Pavs
Summary: 'You've seen and feel things you don't wish on anyone and I can understand that. But just because you can take it, it doesn't mean you should have to. At least not alone. I will be there for you when you come back' She'd said. But now her eyes were cold and empty, and her screams would haunt them forever. [Rated MA, please read the author's note.]
1. Author's note

Author's note

I would first like to thank you for choosing to read this story. I've been working on the French version (_L'amour donné n'est jamais perdu_) of this fanfiction for six years before I finally gathered the courage to translate it to English. This fiction is more than 200k words long, so please humor me until the end. I promise it will be worth your time. Just remember that English isn't my first language and that my beta is doing a great job. (Thank you FictionWriter91)

I made this author's note for two reasons: First, it is an explanation of how to read the story, and second, it is a warning about the content of this fiction.

1- Reading the story:

\- The story will be told from both my OC's point of view and an absent narrator. The transitions will be clear, don't worry.

-_ Italics_ = thoughts

\- _**Italic/bold** _= memories

\- **Bold**= writing (e-mails, notes, etc.)

2- Warnings and disclaimer:

**The story contains**: major character deaths, suicide attempt, self-arm, rape, alcoholism, dependence, torture, and violence. **If I forgot something, feel free to tell me**, but at this point,** expect this fiction to go dark at times.** It will be **rated accordingly**.

**There are ''light'' chapters** with romantic, heart warming and funny parts as well. A lot of them actually.

This fiction was written with the idea that those guys are mercenaries (will be as canon as possible) and have to deal with heavy stuff, and the OC is very new to their world **(OC is NOT Mary-sue, don't worry)**. It is a finished story, so don't worry about it being abandoned. It will be completed.

Finally, I'll say it here once and for all: **I do not own The Expendables or any of its characters. **I only have my OC and this storyline.

Thank you for taking your time to acknowledge this note and…

Enjoy your reading!

Pavs.


	2. Prologue

_Hey everybody!_

_It's me again. I just finished my finals and will have a lot of time on my hands, meaning I'll probably post on a daily basis. _

_A big thank you to my beta: FictionWriter91_

_Enjoy your reading!_

_Pavs. _

* * *

Prologue:

* * *

[Gabrielle]

The faces around me were lost as I was staring at the picture of my mother. She'd been so beautiful, and it was a shame that we couldn't have an open casket ceremony. My father, who would have normally admonished me for not talking to people, was standing next to me with tears in his eyes. I couldn't stop crying.

The past weeks had gone by so fast. Between my mother's social events and her meetings, we almost forgot that she was dying. Almost. I had tried to convince my parents that spending time together should be more important that worrying about the others, but, apparently, people of our social class can't afford to be dying. It would be bad for the image.

I felt anger building slowly in my chest, and I looked at them with contempt. My mother wasn't there to blame me and God only knew how many times she'd had to do it. I had never been able to blend in with her special crowd, and I knew she loved me for it even if she couldn't tell me. She kept telling me that I was just like my father. I didn't understand why.

Mathieu Lacasse (although he was more emotionally expressive than most of the man who'd crossed my path) was the perfect example of a member of the elite society. I was constantly wondering how he didn't end up crazy with all this manipulation going on around us. We might have a lot of…resources, but we weren't happy. At least, not always.

I had found time to learn hunting and fishing, to buy myself a collection of the best music that the 70's and the 80's had to offer, to watch action movies and to collect books, lots and lots of books. Passions that were kept secrets, because…well…image you know?

I suddenly felt nauseous and excused myself to go outside. I leaned against a tree and looked at the house. I couldn't stay there. I wanted to travel, meet people…be myself. I looked up at the sky and hoped that my mother would forgive me for wanting freedom more than my inheritance. This family was a cage, and I needed to get out.

''Gabrielle, '' my father said, and I turned to face him. ''You are leaving, aren't you?''

I couldn't speak, and I could see in his eyes that I didn't have to. He just knew.

''I understand, and I hope that you know…I won't give up on you. If you ever need anything…Please, just don't forget I will always be there, '' he added. I nodded.

Something was off, and I had to know why.

[Barney]

Barney Ross was a difficult man to surprise, really, but Sarah had been a unique woman, and her death had not changed her. He'd thought he'd never hear from her again after she refused to go with him a few years earlier, so the call he'd just received had unsettled him.

Tool looked at Barney with concern, having only seen him in a shock state on the field. Even then, it had been rare. He wondered what had put him in such a state. Something serious had happened, Tool was sure of it.

After a few seconds, Barney ended the call and tried to calm himself before looking at Tool.

''Tell the guys we're not taking jobs for a while and that I'll take emergency calls only. I've got something to do, '' Barney said.

Tool looked at him like he had grown a second head. Barney never put his personal life before his job, if he had any that is.

''You okay?'' Tool asked and Barney sighed while getting on his bike.

''No. No, I am not,'' he answered before starting the engine. ''I've got a daughter who just lost her mother.''

''You have a kid?'' Tool asked, surprised.

''Yeah, I didn't know either,'' Barney said before getting out of the shop, leaving a shocked Tool behind staring after him.


	3. Chapter one

_Hey everybody!_

_It's me again. Now, I know I told you I would update once a week, and I want to apologize for the lack of updates. I got a new job and I am still getting use to it. _

_So here's chapter one! I really do hope you will like this fiction. I've worked on it for years and I promise it's worth the read. _

_Thank you again to my beta FictionWriter91, you're awesome and I love your style._

_And a special hello to my friend Mopargirl, thank you for your support, I love your stories too!_

Enjoy your reading!

Pavs.

* * *

Chapter one: Looking at the sky, I see a new home

* * *

[Gabrielle]

Never in my life would I say that things couldn't get worse. Never again. I was looking at the landscape through the car window as it glided along, hitting the odd bump in the road. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and didn't have to look to know it was Mathieu. The two weeks after my mother's funeral had been hell on earth. and then, my ''father'' asked me to join him in his office for a talk.

What's better than sharks waiting for their share of the will? A father that waited a little more than 22 years to tell me he had adopted me to protect my mom's honor, that's what. The conversation we'd had under that tree made so much more sense now. I could understand why he'd done it, and somehow, it made me hate our family and lifestyle even more.

I had spent my entire life wondering why I felt like I didn't belong, why my mother thought I looked so much like my father, and why I always felt like I was being lied to. I inadvertently passed a hand over my thigh and gnashed my teeth. There were consequences to living in a world that didn't want anything to do with you, where you never feel like you're good enough. My habits weren't common knowledge, and I intended to keep it that way.

The car stopped, and I went to the notary's office with the firm intention of getting out as soon as possible. I had had enough of this painful legal process and thought that after the funeral, I should be left alone. Mathieu came in a few seconds later and offered me an apologetic smile.

''I am sorry you had to come back here, and I realize it won't change the fact that we didn't tell you the truth…'' said Mathieu before I interrupted him.

''Was there any problem with the will, selling the property, or the transfer of money?'' I asked.

''No,'' said the notary before looking at Mathieu.

Great. Another secret.

''Then why am I here?'' I asked.

''Mr. Lacasse asked me to do some research and paperwork and…'' the notary started before Mathieu took over.

''Your father is here, and he wants to see you.''

I stopped breathing.

''If you sign these papers, he'll have your legal custody. I understand that you already are of age but…'' Mathieu tried to explain, but I wasn't listening to him, not really.

I got up and went in the waiting room. Meet my father and leave? I looked out the window with the impression that time had stopped. Maybe it was for the best. I wanted to travel, but this city… I looked at the buildings with nostalgia and knew I already had made a decision. A crazy one, but everything was reminding me of my mother and this life and…I could feel the need to leave. Like I knew deep down that it was the right decision.

Nothing here felt like home, not since my mom had passed. I could forgive Mathieu, but I still wouldn't be staying. I heard someone approaching and turned around.

The man in front of me was tall and looked like he wasn't the kind of man you'd want to be mad at you. His black hair was dripping from the snow, and his dark brown eyes gave me the impression that they'd seen much more than they should have. They were the same color as mine. It was the only physical trait we had in common. The hair, I had mine brown like my mom, and I was definitely smaller than him.

''You're Gabrielle?'' he asked with a deep voice that made him even more intimidating if it was possible.

''And you are my father,'' I answered, He nodded.

''Barney," he said, extending a hand.

I shook it briefly while he stared at me openly, giving me the impression he was asking himself if any of this was real.

[Barney]

He saw she was getting nervous and smiled at her. She seemed to relax a bit, and he looked her in the eyes. All the insecurity, the pain…she shouldn't have had to go through such hardships in her life, let alone at her age. He felt a wave of paternal love flooding him and knew he wouldn't let anything happen to her. Never again. He would help her get through it, like any good father would. He should have been there, and he would have if he'd known. He wasn't one to run away from responsibilities.

''Thank you for coming to get me,'' she said, and he raised an eyebrow, surprised by her words.

''It was the only thing to do,'' he replied honestly.

''Not everyone thinks that way, so thank you,'' she said before offering him a sincere smile.

He felt his heart warming. She had a beautiful smile, and he hoped she'd never lose it again. She seemed very mature too, all things considered. The office door opened, and Mathieu walked towards them. He looked at Barney, and Gabrielle could see a flash of anger in Barney's eyes.

''Please, take care of her,'' he simply stated, and Barney nodded, giving Gabrielle the feeling it was the only way for him to remain polite.

Mathieu did take his daughter away from him after all. He turned to Gabrielle and hugged her before wishing her good luck. Her adoptive father left then, and a tear rolled down the young woman's cheek. Barney put a hand on her shoulder, and she looked at him with a surprised look. She then hurried to wipe her tears and looked down as if she was expecting to be admonished.

Barney ground his teeth as he understood her reaction. She wasn't used to being taken care of, not like that. He felt like he was seeing himself a couple of years ago when his own father told him that emotions were excuses for the weak.

''You good?'' he asked, and she looked at him again with such relief that Barney felt his heart tighten.

She nodded, and he held the door to the notary's office for her. They signed the paperwork and left.

[Gabrielle]

The taxi stopped in front of the hotel, and I could see the by the look on Barney's face that he wasn't expecting this.

''Mathieu insisted,'' I explained.

An employee came to greet us at the door and looked at Barney like he shouldn't be there. I cleared my throat, and he snapped out of it, stepping aside to let us pass.

''Sorry about that,'' I said.

''Don't worry about it, kid. This is a…nice place?'' he said, looking around him with a mixture of exasperation and disdain on his face.

I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

''I'd say they're overdoing it, but with that echo they'd hear me from outside,'' I said, and he laughed too.

We went on the elevator, and I smiled. He didn't look like anyone I'd ever met. We got to my room, and I started packing.

''We don't have to leave now. You can take your time if you need to,'' he said while he was looking at my bottle of whisky.

''Thank you, but I think I'm ready to go now. It's kind of weird considering the fact that we just met, but still, I could use a fresh start, '' I said, taking the bottle to make myself a drink.

''That bad huh?'' he whispered, and I sighed.

''Look, I am not good at talking about this kind of stuff, or at all, but I'll try.'' I said before putting my now empty glass down. ''My mother was the only one keeping me here. Mathieu tried, but after this I… This family is killing me. I think they killed her too somehow. The good part of her, I mean. I don't want that happening to me.''

I could see the concern in his eyes, but I was just not ready to get that personal yet.

''All the memories I have of her are tainted by them. I…I don't want to end up like her. I loved her, and I know she loved me, but I can't be her. And I think she wouldn't want me to be either. Plus, I want to get to know you. If it's ok with you, of course. She always told me that I looked like my father, I just didn't know it was you.'' I added, and he smiled.

[Barney]

He was about to tell her that he'd tell her whatever she wanted to know before he stopped himself. He couldn't tell her, not yet. He would—it was obvious she'd been lied to way too much— but when the time was right. Not here, not like that.

''I can't tell you everything will be perfect, but I can promise you that I'll do my best,'' he told her. ''And well, I guess time will help.''

She looked satisfied with his answer, and they both got up to take her things and leave.

.

They arrived at the plane, and Gabrielle couldn't stop herself from staring.

''It works you know?'' Barney commented in a mocking tone.

''Oh, I am not judging. I am admiring, '' she answered, and Barney smiled. '' This is amazing. Where is the pilot?''

''Right here,'' Barney said while opening the door.

''Wow. That's awesome,'' Gabrielle said, clearly impressed.

Barney laughed thinking about all the complaining he got from the boys when he had bought Santa.

''So, how do you fly this thing?'' she asked while sitting in Lee's seat.

He looked at her with a smile and started to explain every step to her.

[Gabrielle]

I listened to him very carefully, trying to memorize each step. I couldn't hold back a smile, thinking that it was the first time my upbringing, or even the fact that I was a woman, wasn't mentioned. Barney had just been happy to share his knowledge with me.

I felt something deep down inside me wanting to trust him. It would take a lot of work, but maybe it would be worth it. Barney finished his explanations, and I looked at the sky. My head was empty of thoughts for the first time in years. I was going home. I didn't know what it would be like or what would happen next, but it would be home nonetheless.


	4. Chapter two

_Hey everybody!_

_I thought I could post two chapter tonight to make up for the late updates. _

_Enjoy your reading!_

_Pavs._

* * *

Chapter two: It takes a lost soul to find the way

* * *

[Lee]

He was woken up by his ringtone and swore under his breath when he saw that Barney was calling him. It had been two days since he'd disappeared, and when he'd asked Tool what was going on, he was told not to worry.

Well, that was easier said than done when you lived with a woman like Lacy. He finally answered his phone, knowing Barney would just call him back rather than leave a voicemail.

''Not dead yet?'' asked Lee, sarcastic as possible.

''Sorry to disappoint you, but no. Thanks for asking anyway,'' answered Barney, and Lee smiled.

''You sound like I care about you, crazy bastard,'' mocked Lee.

Barney laughed and Lee—not that he'd ever admit it—was reassured that his friend was fine.

''Listen, I need you to do me a favor,'' Barney said, and Lee sighed. ''I need you to put the guns back in the warehouse of the hangar. We'll postpone the inspection.''

''Are you mad? It took us hours to sort them!''. Lee exclaimed, outraged.

''I know. Look, Lee, I wouldn't be asking if it wasn't important. Take Gunnar with you," Barney instructed.

''Yeah, it better be. Anything else I can do for you my lord?'' Lee asked, and when Barney declined, he hung up on him.

He threw his phone on the bed and looked up to seen an angry looking Lacy staring at him.

''Well, fuck me,'' he muttered, thinking that Barney owed him an explanation.

[Tool's]

Tool was pouring himself a drink while half-listening to Lee's ranting.

''Why would he want us to do that anyway? Does he not know what it's like to have a life?'' Christmas demanded, and Gunnar snorted. Hale just smiled into his beer while Toll smirked over his book.

''You mean a crazy chick?'' Gunnar replied, and Tool tried to hide his smile while Lee was staring at Jensen.

''Well, at least I have someone,'' Lee retorted back at him, and Gunnar laughed before he walked to Tool's bike.

''Get that off,'' Tool ordered and Gunnar removed his shirt before he sat on the bike.

''You know, you ought to buy yourself a real tattoo chair,'' Toll laughed and Tool looked at him with an amused smile.

''And what about the style, eh?'' Tool answered, and Toll shook his head.

Tool started to tattoo Gunnar while Lee resumed his complaints about Barney and the fact that he should stop wasting his time. Toll decided to ignore him and went back to his book. Hale took it upon himself to call some food.

They'd been waiting for the pizza to arrive for about fifteen minutes when they heard footsteps. They looked at the open garage door, waiting for Barney to show up and explain what was going on, only to find themselves facing a beautiful young woman.

[Gabrielle]

It was just past dinner time when we finally arrived in New Orleans. I had fallen asleep on the flight, and my father had put my things in his truck before waking me up. I got out of the plane and saw that we were in a hangar. It was an old one by the look of it. There were three metal doors on my left, one garage door behind me, and the one used for airplanes was still opened in front of me.

Barney told me which one lead to the bathroom, and I went to open it, only to find out it was a locker room with a common shower and two bathroom stalls. I frowned thinking it was weird before telling myself that it probably already was like that when Barney bought it. I finished what I had to do there before going back to the hangar.

''Ready to go?'' he asked, and I nodded. ''Good. Let's go home then.''

.

It was a forty-five minutes drive from the hangar to Barney's house. New Orleans was bigger than I thought, and Barney didn't talk to me, giving me all the time in the world to look at the roads and buildings. As the time passed, I noticed that Barney was driving us into a…questionable part of the town before he stopped in front of a two-storey house that seemed out of place between two abandoned industrial buildings. He opened the garage door remotely and drove in, stopping the engine before he closed the door behind us.

I got out the truck and saw a beautiful motorcycle near a workshop with everything needed for mechanical maintenance. There were also locked cupboards located along the back wall. Barney went to unlock the door for me, and I followed him into the house.

Even though the garage took up a lot of space in front of the house, the main floor still had a respectable size. It consisted of an open area with a kitchen, dining space, and a living room. I smiled when I realized that I shared my father's taste for simplicity when it came to colors and style. He put my bags on my trunk and took all of it upstairs. I followed him to the first room on the left, which was apparently my bedroom.

''You've got a bed, a desk, a couple of book cases and a wardrobe. Behind this door you'll find a private bathroom with a shower. Use them as you wish,'' Barney said before adding, ''the door facing your room is the main bathroom. On your left is my office, and facing that is my bedroom…make yourself at home, kid.''

''Thank you, it's perfect,'' I responded with an honest smile.

''You know if you need anything to…upgrade your room or um…woman stuff we can go shopping,'' he said, visibly uncomfortable.

''Nah, I am good. Besides, I don't like shopping that much unless it's book, movie or music related,'' I said, and I had to stop myself from laughing at the pure look of relief on his face.

''Yeah, so um…call me if you need anything, I'll be downstairs,'' he said, and I nodded.

I then took the time to unpack my things and was almost done when I heard my stomach protest. I went down and saw Barney hanging up the phone.

''Everything ok?'' he asked me, and I looked at my feet.

''Just wondering when we would eat?'' I answered, and he seemed to hesitate.

''I gotta go to Tool's place. He's a friend of mine. The guys I work with might be there as well, and they're probably gonna eat with us if that's ok with you?''

''I guess I would have met them sooner or later,'' I said, and he took his keys and wallet before heading outside.

We walked to Tool's, and on our way there, Barney showed me where were the local stores and told me where to find the guys in case there was a problem. I was about to ask him how he met them when I saw the Tool's Tattoo Shop sign.

The windows were covered by posters of classic rock bands, and I smiled. The place would have scared the hell out of my family, but I could hear Barney's friends laughing, and the closer I got, the more I could smell gas, beer, and ink. There was a large garage door opened, and I could see a wall covered in drawings and paintings. I was almost inside when I saw who I supposed was Tool tattooing a blond man on a bike that was converted into a tattoo chair.

All the others' bikes were parked in the front, and I finally walked in. They were all staring at me. They all seemed younger than my father, except for Tool, who put down his tattoo gun and smiled at me. I smiled back and offered him my hand to shake. He laughed, kissed my cheek and put a hand on my shoulder.

''No need to be so formal, love. Welcome to my place. The name is Tool,'' he said, and my smile grew bigger.

''Gabrielle,'' I said.

The blond man got up, and I suddenly realized how imposing he was, more so than any of them. And I'd be damned if he didn't have the bluest eyes that I had ever seen. The circular scar that barred his cheek and his size alone should have scared me, but I felt safe. I didn't understand why, I just did.

''Hey Barney! I didn't know you liked them that young. Missing the old times?'' he mocked, and I looked at my father with a questioning look.

Hadn't he told them who I was? I looked around and saw two men sitting on the back of a couch. There was also a pool table, chairs, a TV mounted on the back wall and a target with gashes that looked like they were made by knives.

''That's the reason I had to clean up the hangar?'' another one said, and I turned to him.

He'd spoken with a British accent and had moved from one of the chairs to face us. He was bald, a bit taller than Barney without being as muscular—although I had no doubt he was just as strong— and was currently looking at me with an annoyed look on his face.

I stared back at him, daring him to make another comment to my face.

''Wow, not only has she got your eyes, she even inherited of your stare,'' Tool commented, clearly amused.

The guys looked confused, and Barney cleared his throat.

''Guys, this is my daughter, Gabrielle. Gabrielle, this is Tool, Gunnar, Lee, Hale and Toll,'' my father introduced, and I tried to hold my laughter at the expression on Gunnar's face.

I really did try and failed miserably. I laughed so hard I started crying. I could hear Tool laughing too, and when I calmed myself, I could see the rest of them smiling except for Gunnar, who looked uncomfortable. Lee was looking at me like it would give him answers.

''Sorry, it was a long flight,'' I apologized.

''Don't worry kid, they've seen worse,'' Tool reassured me, and I shrugged.

''Well…um…sorry about that,'' Gunnar said awkwardly, and I smiled at him.

''No problem. Could've been worse,'' I said, and then I looked at Lee and added, ''I could've been the one to transform you into a maid.''

Lee snorted and turned around to get another beer from the fridge under the TV.

[Barney]

''Hey man you don't feed her or something?'' Hale asked him when the pizza got there, and Gabrielle looked at him with an amused smile.

''I was told you'd share,'' she said, taking Hale's plate from his hands.

''Wow, you are a brave one,'' Hale said, and Gabrielle laughed.

''Yeah, sure. Whatever you say sweetie," Barney's daughter said, and even Barney had to laugh at the offended face Caesar made.

The guys exchanged a knowing smile, and he had no doubt that Hale had just got a new nickname for their next mission. He saw Tool's smile disappearing from his face, and Barney sighed when his friend came closer to him.

''You didn't tell her,'' Tool commented, and Barney took another sip of his beer. ''How much longer do you think you can hide it from her?''

''As long as I can. She's got so much going on already. She deserves some peace and quiet,'' Barney answered.

Their attention was caught by bursts of laughter, and they both saw Gabrielle and Toll laughing at Hale.

''I can't remember the last time I saw them like that,'' Tool said.

''Me neither,'' Barney agreed. ''I thought she would be shocked to be here. It's not anything like her home.''

''And it's probably exactly why she's better here. You and I both know what it's like to have a constant reminder that we lost people,'' Tool observed.

They saw Gabrielle yawn before she got up and walked up to them.

''You've got a nice place here Tool, but I am dead tired,'' she said, and Tool smiled at her before she looked at Barney. ''Do you mind if I go back to your place?''

''Do you want me to walk with you?'' offered Barney, and she declined.

''Nah, I am good,'' she said before shouting, ''Good night guys!''

[Gabrielle]

I was walking back to Barney's place when I saw that the store on the corner was still open. I wanted ice cream, so I went in, and the woman behind the counter offered me a polite smile before she went back to her reading.

I took some chips too and went to pay for my stuff. I was about to leave when the woman showed me a door in the back. I looked outside and saw three drunk man in the front. I nodded at her and left.

I was almost out of the alley when I heard them whistle at me. I accelerated and turned onto the wrong street, a fact that I only noticed when I saw one of the restaurants mentioned by my father earlier.

''Fuck,'' I swore under my breath and kept walking to go back to Tool's.

''Yeah, we 'bout to,'' said one of the men while grabbing my arm, and I screamed.

I dropped my bags and managed to get away long enough for me to start running. They caught me again, and one of them sent me to the ground. I was seriously starting to panic. My lungs were on fire, and tears started to roll down my cheeks. One of them got on top of me. He reeked of alcohol and kissed my neck before he whispered in my ear: ''You're not going anywhere girl; the fun part has just begun.''

He got up, and I tried to make a run for it. One of his friends hit me in the stomach, and I fell on my knees. He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and slapped me in the face. I pushed him as hard as I could and started running again.

[Tool's]

''You didn't tell her!'' Christmas accused after Barney told him why he'd had to clean up the hangar.

Barney could feel the judgment, but he still wasn't ready to tell Gabrielle.

''She's living with you Barney and it looks like she might be here often as well. She's gonna discover it sooner than later,'' Hale added.

''I just don't want her to be exposed to our world before she has to be,'' Barney said. ''She doesn't know what our life feels like, and I'd rather keep it that way.''

''By not telling her the truth?'' asked Gunnar, sarcastic as possible. ''You told us yourself that she's coming from a family that didn't care about anything else than their own asses. You really think lying to her is the way to go?''

''Why the fuck do you care Gunnar?'' asked Lee.

''Because you saw her earlier. She was happy. She was herself,'' Gunnar commented. She wasn't scared of me, he added to himself.

Barney wanted to blame him for interfering, but he knew Gunnar had a point. Barney had known Sarah's family. If Gabrielle was like him, and if her family hadn't changed, she deserved better than that. He was about to answer him when he heard a scream.

A woman was calling for help, a young woman. They were all out in a few seconds trying to figure out where the screams were coming from. She was about a street away from them, and then they heard a scream that froze the blood in Barney's veins.

''BARNEY! TOOL! GUN…'' screamed Gabrielle before she was suddenly interrupted and they ran to her.

[Gabrielle]

I was almost there. So close in fact that I could hear them talking. Christmas seemed mad, but I couldn't care less. I needed to get there. I screamed for my father, for Tool and was about to call for Gunnar too when one of them caught me, pushed me against a wall, and strangled me.

''Stop fucking with us and start playing bitch,'' he growled, and then I heard people running and heard the whistling of something cutting through the air.

I didn't understand what was happening until after my face was covered in blood and the man was lying on the ground. Help had come. I tried to stay up, but my legs gave out, and I fell too. I could hear someone talking to me but couldn't understand a word. I tried to calm down, focusing on the voice that was close to my ear. Tool.

''It's ok love, breathe. Just breathe.''

I looked up and saw Christmas looking at me. He seemed worried, but didn't move. Like I was a ticking bomb. But why would I…Oh. I looked at him, then at the body, before I threw up and passed out.

[Tool]

She was hurt. He'd tried to calm her while the others took care of the remaining bastards, but she'd passed out. He took her into his arms and called out to Barney. She'd need a hospital. He brought her to his truck and went with Barney.

The guys would have to take care of cleaning. He didn't even think before he threw his knife. It was the first time in a while that he'd actually beat both Barney and Christmas. They arrived at the hospital, and Barney screamed for help. Tool was worried as he'd only rarely seen Barney lose it.

But then again, Gabrielle was his daughter. She was taken away by the doctors, and Tool looked at the blood on him. There was a lot of it.

''Fuck!'' Barney exclaimed while throwing a magazine away.

Tool looked at him and was speechless. He sat and took his head in his hands. He heard Barney sit beside him, and he put an hand on his shoulder.

''She'll be fine Barns.'' Tool said, still not looking at him.

''Like fuck she'll be fine,'' Barney snapped, and Tool looked at him. ''I'll have to explain this. I'll have to tell her not to worry while admitting to her that I am not a good guy but not the same kind so it's ok? She's been there for less than a day, and she's already been beaten up! That's fucked up.''

''You are good, Barns. Not the hero type of shit but still a good one. And well, you aren't the one who threw the knife, brother,'' Tool said, and Barney snorted.

''Yeah, since when are you that fast old man?'' Christmas asked, and they both looked at him, surprised.

They hadn't heard him coming.

''Always been,'' Tool answered, taking his knife back from Christmas's offering hand. ''Only waiting for it to really matter.''

Lee took a seat in front of them, and they waited. It was about half an hour later when the rest of the guys showed up, telling them the cleaning was done.

''Mr. Ross and Tool?'' asked a nurse, and Barney was on his feet in a second. ''Your daughter is stable but has suffered from a severe concussion. The doctors had to do stitches to stop the bleeding. I am sorry, but the visiting hours are for family only. The rest of you will have to go home.''

The guys nodded and got out while Barney and Tool followed her to Gabrielle's room.

[Barney]

They entered the room and saw her sleeping on her bed.

''I am so sorry, but I have to talk to you about this. Since we don't have her medical files, I am going to have to ask you if she's seeing a professional,'' said the nurse.

''I... I've only known her since yesterday. Her mother died, it's complicated. Why?'' asked Barney, and the nurse shook her head before removing the covers to show her arms.

Barney felt rage. The kind that come in waves. He knew her family was something else, but this…she had needed help. Barney couldn't recall any hospital record since Gabrielle had been 10 years old. She had been ignored.

''Thank you,'' Tool said, and the nurse left with a concern look on her face. ''Barns…''

''Stay here will you?'' Barney ordered before he went outside.

He got in his truck and screamed, pounding on his steering wheel. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt like this. He was furious, scared. He had no idea what happened or how he would be able to help. He was terrified, and he didn't like it, not at all. He was a mercenary for fuck's sake! And Gabrielle…Gabrielle was his daughter. He loved her and it was terrifying.

[Tool]

He felt kind of numb. His mind was trying to bring him back on the bridge that he left so many years ago. He could remember what that woman looked like. She'd died, and he'd done nothing. He couldn't let that happen, never again. He took Gabrielle's hand and sighed.

Barney was having a hard time dealing with the fact that Gabrielle was his, he could tell. Not the responsibility or even the being a dad part, but the emotional part…yeah, Barney had never been good at that. Hell, that man could go through a war zone, seeing things that would make people insane, but that's because he was able to disconnect with his feelings. He couldn't do that with his daughter. As if someone ever could. At least, not a loving father that is. And Barney's heart might have been black, but it was still functioning.

''He's got as much to learn as you,'' Tool told her. ''But please love, there are other ways to learn.''

He caressed the scars on her arm while telling her that and didn't noticed she'd woke up.

''I am sorry,'' she said, seconds before she started coughing.

''Here,'' Tool said while helping her into a sitting position.

He got her a glass of water and waited.

''How bad is it?'' she asked, and Tool was about to answer when she added, ''Shouldn't we be running from the cops?''

And Tool was speechless.

''I am sorry. I never meant to put you in such a delicate situation. And, well, thank you for your help,'' Gabrielle said, and Tool was still looking at her.

Her concussion must have been pretty bad if she was more worried about them going to jail than the five stitches on her head. But then again…He looked at her scars and remembered what Barney had told him about her family. The bastards.

''Don't give a shit about me love. You are in quite a state, but since you woke up pretty fast, you'll probably be able to get out tomorrow,'' Tool assured her.

''Oh,'' Gabrielle said. ''So…um…what happened?''

''I…we found you, and I thought it was too late, so…''Tool trailed off, unsure of what to say since Barney had yet to talk to her about their line of work.

''Thank you,'' Gabrielle said. ''I get the 'don't want to talk about it face', it can't have been easy. And…I do hope I didn't vomit on you. I mean…so much for recognition, right?''

Tool couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips. Gabrielle really was something special. Of course, it concerned him to no end that she cared that much more about the others than herself, but it was also nice to have someone to think about his wellbeing. She smiled a bit at him before her expression became serious again.

''He's dead, isn't he?'' she asked, and he nodded. '' And they didn't arrest you?''

''Self-defense,'' Barney answered for Tool while coming in with the doctor. ''Might not want to talk too much about it though.

Tool could see the man hated himself for such a blatant lie, but even he knew now was not the time.

[Gabrielle]

I couldn't look at Barney. It was too much. I could feel the pain, but it was nothing compared to the guilt. I was there for less than a day, and Tool had to kill for me. I looked at my scars and then froze. They could see them.

I looked up and saw my father looking straight into my eyes. I turned my head only to see Tool's sad attempt to give me a reassuring smile.

''I am leaving,'' I said.

''Miss Ross, your state is…'' the doctor tried.

''I am leaving. I'll rest and come back if needed, but I have to get out,'' I said and the doctor nodded before leaving to, hopefully, get the paperwork done.

I got up on my feet and felt the nausea. I ripped off the catheter and ignored the pain in my head as I started looking for my clothes.

''Gabrielle,'' Barney said quietly, and I stopped to look at him.

He was worried, not judgmental. Worried. I started crying, so much in fact that if he hadn't been there to hold me, I would have fell on the ground. And I kept telling him and Tool how sorry I was.

[In the Truck]

They were heading back to Barney's place. Gabrielle had fallen asleep, and Tool was looking at Barney, praying to whoever would listen to help them to help her. Tool sighed. If the girl was so intent on making sure they were ok, he'd make sure she was too. And of course, Barney would be there too.


	5. Chapter three

_Hey everybody!_

_I am so sorry for the lack of update, life has been all kinds of crazy lately._

_For my defense, I'll post two chapters today :)_

_Enjoy your reading!_

_Pavs._

* * *

**Chapter Three: The Blood on Your Hands**

* * *

[Gunnar]

He saw a text message from Barney telling him Gabrielle was out. He frowned, noticing that it had been sent not long after he'd got back to his room at Tool's. Gunnar got out of bed, put some clothes on, and went to the shared kitchen of the second floor. He saw Tool sitting there with an untouched coffee.

''You up?'' Tool asked, surprised.

Gunnar never got up before noon if he could help it.

''You broke your kitchen?'' Jensen retorted back, and Tool sighed.

Tool's apartment was on the third floor, and even though he often ate with him and Toll, he rarely joined them for breakfast.

''Is she ok?'' Gunnar asked, concerned.

''She had a panic attack when she woke up. Barney took her home. I'm waiting for Toll to wake up so I can ask him a favor,'' Tool explained, and when he saw Gunnar's puzzled expression he added while Toll came into view. "She has self-harm scars all over her arms, and we found no evidence of her or her family trying to get help.''

''Shit,'' Toll said, half asleep. ''Yeah, I'll check in with my therapist and see if they can do a referral or take her on as a client.''

Gunnar sat there and tried to calm down while Toll joined them. Those people were her family; they should have noticed or helped. Hell, the guys should have killed him and still chose to help him instead when he'd fucked up. What kind of superficial fuckers were they to let her suffer like that?

''So, she knows now?'' Toll asked.

''No!'' Tool and Gunnar exploded.

''Yeah, so let's lie to her. Let her feel fucking guilty that we broke our innocent souls for some fucking morons! I can tell by her scars that she hasn't been lied to and ignored enough,'' Gunnar said, as sarcastic as possible. ''I may be fucked up, but even I can tell this is a moronic plan that will do more damage than good.''

He got up and took his coffee to his room, leaving Tool and Toll absolutely speechless behind him.

[Gabrielle]

I opened my eyes only to close them again. My head was killing me. I took a deep breath and managed to get up. I went to the bathroom, opened the cabinet under the sink, took some pain meds, and took off my clothes. I froze at the sight of blood. His blood. The very dead man's blood. I turned on the shower and grabbed the soap, desperate to get rid of the smell.

I couldn't cry or scream no matter how bad I wanted to, not with Barney in the house. Last night, a man had died because of me. Tool had killed him because of me. I felt a sharp pain in my chest, and I knew it would only get worse. It was my fault; I deserved it. I let myself slip on the floor of the shower and felt my nails sticking into my skin as I cried. The guilt was too much. I hadn't thrown the knife, but I might as well have. My weakness had killed that man. I cried until the water cooled and then I got out.

I didn't need to look at myself in the mirror to know that I looked like shit. I went to my room and put on a long-sleeved shirt and a pair of jeans. I saw my black leather boots in a corner of my room and decided to put them on as well. I saw blood on my bed sheets and ripped them off my bed to put it in the trashcan along with my dirty clothes. I took the bag and went downstairs, not noticing Barney on my way to the door. I put the bag outside the door that lead to the garage and turned back to see him looking at me with a worried look on his face.

''There was blood. We'll need to go shopping,'' I said.

He said nothing, choosing to hug me instead. I started to cry again, apologizing profusely for the second time in two days. It was embarrassing, really.

[Barney]

He wanted to tell her to stop apologizing, but he knew that she wouldn't listen. He understood her need to do so too. Then she said something that made him froze.

''He died because of me,'' she said while she was still crying.

''No, he didn't,'' Barney assured her, and she took a step back.

He could see that his harsh tone had scared her, but she refused to look down. She had character; he'd give her that. She got it from him from what he'd seen so far, but there was no way in hell that she'd have his guilt too. He'd make God damned sure of that.

''You didn't kill that man,'' Barney added with a softer tone to his voice, '' I…we defended you when you couldn't. We…you didn't kill him…''

She stayed silent and Barney found himself at a loss. He didn't know how to tell her the truth without breaking her. He never had been one to talk about sensible matters. That's why he had Tool on the team to begin with. Lee and Hale had been good enough too.

''Want to go to Tool's?'' Barney asked, and Gabrielle looked confused for a moment before she accepted his offer.

[Tool's]

Tool heard footsteps at the front of the shop and turned away from his painting to see Barney and Gabrielle. The girl was clearly upset, and Barney looked like…well, shit. He made no comments. He knew better.

''You alone in there?'' Barney asked, and Tool pointed to the roof.

''Gunnar's in the kitchen, and Toll's probably trying to finish that psycho book he always is talking about,'' Tool answered with a worried look on his face.

Barney turned to Gabrielle, and she looked at him.

''Would you mind going upstairs? There's food and drinks. Make yourself home, I'll be there soon," Barney promised, and Gabrielle nodded.

She stopped in front of Tool, and he looked at her. She seemed scared, and he knew she tried to hide it.

''I…um…thank you,'' she said, and Tool couldn't hide the shock on his face. ''I know this sounds wrong. God. I am not thanking you for killing him. I mean, yeah, you had to, and it must have been difficult and…fuck…sorry, I am so sorry about that. What I meant to say was thank you, for saving me.''

Tool went from shocked to really worried when he saw Barney's expression darken while she spoke. He wasn't mad at his daughter, that he could tell. He could also tell that Gabrielle was blaming herself, and that's what was upsetting Barney so much. And while Tool was touched that Gabrielle cared about his wellbeing, he was still worried about hers and the effect it had on Barney.

Tool got up his stool, and he hugged her. She was tense at first and then she seemed to relax.

''You didn't have to thank me again or at all sweet thing. It was the only thing to do. I'll always be there if you need me. You're Barney's daughter… a friend. That makes you family,'' Tool said while releasing her, and she offered him a small smile.

These people weren't like her old family at all. She liked them. She looked at Barney, kissed him on the cheek, and left, leaving Tool alone with Barney.

They stared at each other for a while before Barney turned to punch the wall beside him.

''What happened?'' Tool asked, still looking at him.

''She ripped off her sheets and threw them in the trash outside my house. I wouldn't be surprised if she threw out her clothes too. Then she proceeded to apologize for killing the fucker that almost killed her!'' Barney exclaimed angrily, and Tool could see that he was on the verge of losing it.

Then his friend noticed Tool's defensive position and sighed.

''I'll have to convince her that we're not the same as them. Hell, I am not even sure that I'm not like them,'' Barney added.

''You're not. We're not. You have to believe that, or else you'll be like them. You hear me?'' Tool asked.

He'd seen one of them turning bad before. He wouldn't lose one more. Barney nodded, and Tool exhaled loudly. This was a big fucking mess.

[Gunnar & Gabrielle]

Gunnar looked up to see Gabrielle standing in the elevator. She smiled awkwardly at him before she took a seat in front of him.

''So, Toll…'' she started before Gunnar interrupted her.

''In his room,'' he said.

She looked around, noticing the row of doors in the small hallway facing her. Gunnar could see that she didn't want to ask him in which room was Toll's and he decided to help out. She looked at the doors in the small hallway and Gunnar could see her trying to figure out which room was Toll's. He sighed and decided to help out.

''First door on the right. Mine's the first on the left. The others are empty,'' Gunnar explained, and Gabrielle nodded.

''Look, I just wanted to thank you both for coming to my rescue last night,'' she said, and Gunnar looked straight into her eyes.

Nobody thanked him. Ever. Not that sincerely anyway.

''Thank you…I mean for thanking me…um...'' Gunnar said before he shook his head. Damn, that was embarrassing. What the hell was wrong with him?

Gabrielle couldn't help but smile. He noticed and cleared his throat. She unconsciously rubbed one of her arms on the table, and Gunnar held out his hand to her. She hid her arms under the table, and, without really knowing why or what was possessing him to, he got up to grab one. He rolled her sleeve up and froze when he saw the marks. Gabrielle looked at him, but she didn't move. Gunnar took a look at her other arm and sat beside her. Silent tears rolled down Gabrielle's cheeks, and he could see the fear in her eyes.

Barney didn't know.

He touched her wounds with his fingertips, and she closed her eyes. She couldn't look at him. He got up, went to his room and came back with a cream. He applied some of it on her wrapped her arms with bandages, before he gave her the rest. She looked so hurt. He didn't know why, but he couldn't let her look like that. He couldn't see her in pain and do nothing about it. He had to prevent her self- destructive habits from going too far before she became like him. He caressed her cheek with his thumb, and she looked at him.

''Be careful,'' he whispered.

''Thank you,'' she whispered back.

He removed his hand, and she put her sleeves back in place. She looked at him one more time before she left to see if Barney was ok. She'd thank Toll later, when a pair of blue eyes wouldn't be staring at her. Gunnar looked at his hand, still feeling her skin under his finger. He shook his head and went back to his room, not noticing the puzzled look on Toll's face, who'd just arrived in the kitchen.

[Gabrielle]

We'd gone back to Barney's place, and I took a nap on the couch while he cooked lunch. I had been way too tired for the stairs. By the time Barney woke me up, my whole body was hating me for it. I got up the couch and went to join him in the kitchen. My ribs protested against my technique to get on one of the stools, and Barney frowned.

''We can eat at the table if you need to,'' he offered.

''Already here,'' I answered. ''Thank you, though.''

He put a plate in front of me, and I smiled. Pasta, one of man's best friends. I started eating, and Barney went upstairs to get my meds.

''You're suppose to take these after eating,'' he explained.

Well, that made sense. I stopped eating to take them while he kept looking at me.

''I am not going to disappear you know?'' I joked, but he only got more serious.

''You need to take care of yourself,'' he said, and I sighed.

''I am ok. I'll take my meds and try not to run a marathon…''

''Yeah, that too,'' he interrupted me while looking at my arms.

I hid them under the counter, but he reached and took one of my hands in his anyway. I held my breath, knowing very well that if he checked like Gunnar had, I was fucked. Gunnar. Gunnar and his eyes. There had been no judgment, nothing but comprehension, sadness even. They were all so understanding it was astonishing. But Gunnar, with all this blue and all this sadness…

''…Gabrielle?'' asked Barney, and I snapped out of it.

''Sorry, yeah. Sure,'' I improvised, hoping it had not been a question.

''Good. Don't be mad, but I already called Toll. I am glad you'll see his therapist,'' Barney said, and I wanted to bang my head on the counter.

Of course, I had agreed to that. But I could see the relief on his face, and I knew I didn't have it in me to refuse him. Especially not after what he'd done for me.

''So, do you want to go back to sleep? I'll clean this up,'' Barney offered, and I sighed.

''Don't think my body would forgive me. I'll need clean sheets. We can go shopping,'' I suggested, and I could see in his face that he liked that as much as I liked the idea of seeing a therapist.

''Don't worry, I don't like that either. We go in and out,'' I offered. ''Except for the car.''

''The what?'' he asked, and I smiled.

''Well, I'll have to go out there sooner or later,'' I laughed, and he smiled.

''What type of car?'' he asked.

''A mustang. I would go for an old one, but I wouldn't know where to start, and I can't walk that much,'' I answered, and his smile grew bigger.

''I do,'' he said, and minutes later, we were gone.

[Tool's]

Tool turned to face the garage door with a frown. He knew that whoever was coming had a good taste in cars. The guys got up, and Barney got out the passenger seat seconds before Gabrielle opened her door. Hale whistled, and Gabrielle looked at him with a bright smile.

''She's gorgeous, isn't she?'' Gabrielle asked, and Tool laughed while Barney shook his head with a smile.

''That she is, sweetheart,'' Tool said while he got closer to the car. ''I take it your father still has good friends?''

''Yeah, he does,'' she nodded with such enthusiasm that they all smiled at her.

It was good to see her like that after all that happened.

''Besides, I can't walk that much, so I needed a car anyway. The fact that it's absolutely badass is just a bonus,'' she explained, and Toll frowned. He could sense she was still shaken from the events from before.

''Are you ok?'' Toll asked, and she nodded.

''Yeah, about that. I saw Gunnar this morning and I wanted to…well, I thanked him and I wanted to thank you. All of you. For your help I mean…'' she trailed off, and Hale smiled at her.

''It's ok. Don't worry about it,'' Toll said. ''Just relax until you get better.''

''Yeah, I'll try,'' Gabrielle said before everybody returned to their business.

Not her, though. The drawing of a warrior woman with flowers drew her attention, and she moved closer to look at it. It didn't look like the other drawings on the wall. Gabrielle could tell that Tool hadn't made this one. She didn't notice the frown on Barney's face. It was Sandra's gift, but that didn't interest Gabrielle. She looked at it because it was different, and she was wondering about its meaning.

She was about to touch the paper when another one caught her attention. She could feel the tears in her eyes. It was another woman. Her hairs were made of flowers, and her face looked like her mother's. There were so many details. It was so delicate, and her eyes held so many emotions. This drawing was calling to her.

''I wish I could draw like that,'' Gabrielle whispered, and Tool felt a familiar pain as he saw the tears in her eyes.

Tool put a hand on her shoulder, and Barney remembered about asking him advice about Sandra. He could almost swear that his friend bore the same expression on his face as he had when he'd been painting that guitar.

''I can teach you if you want,'' Tool offered, and Gabrielle gave him a sad smile.

''I'd like that,'' she said, and Tool offered her a seat at his table.

''Where do we start?'' he asked, and Barney smiled when he saw that the tears were gone from her eyes.

[Gabrielle]

I was lying on my bed, thinking about the night at Tool's. The drawing lesson had been a great distraction. Tool was a good teacher, and I wondered if he'd been one in another lifetime. While the guys had been nice to me since I got there, I had no idea whatsoever about what they did for a living. It was kind of weird, really. I knew for a fact that Tool and Barney had served together and that Toll had been in the military, but other than that…Well, I guessed I still had time to get to know them.

I looked at my phone and saw the usual missed call from Mathieu. I sighed and opened my texts. I stared at my screen, not knowing what to send. I couldn't talk to him about what happened. Hell, I couldn't talk to him before that. I doubted a dead man was a great icebreaker. A dead man. A man that Tool killed because of me.

I went to my bathroom and took more pain meds. I needed the pain to stop. I closed my eyes and saw his face. I felt the blood. I got rid of my clothes and went into the shower. I sat under the water and realized that Gunnar's bandages were still on my arms. I remembered his touch and felt a shiver down my spine.

I didn't deserve his kindness. I got rid of the bandages and looked at my arms. I felt pathetic. They had killed for me for fuck sake! The pain was still there, it was everywhere. It had to get out. I took my razor and cut myself. I could see the man's blood on my hands. I cut again, and again. It wasn't working. I threw the razor out of the shower and closed my eyes, not moving until the water grew cold.

[Gunnar]

He was looking at Gabrielle. She was talking with Tool about painting. He couldn't care less. What interested him, however, was the fact that she was the only one with a long sleeve shirt on. Hale started the barbecue, and Gabrielle got up to get something to drink inside.

He followed her.

[Gabrielle]

''Did Barney asked you to follow me?'' I asked as Gunnar got closer.

''No,'' he answered while looking straight into my eyes.

''You didn't tell them,'' I commented, surprised.

''Should I tell them?'' he asked, and I was speechless.

He was giving me a choice. Gunnar was trying to be there. He didn't even know me. I didn't know him. This made no sense. I was taught not to trust anyone.

''I didn't do it on purpose,'' I tried, and I could see that my answer made him angry.

''You can lie to them. You can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to me,'' he said while getting closer.

I knew he was right. I couldn't explain it; I just knew it. His eyes softened, and he took my hand to look at my right arm. I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks.

''Gabrielle,'' he whispered, and I started sobbing.

I couldn't control it. He took me into his arms, and I felt so small.

''It wasn't your fault, you hear me? Stop doing that, or I'll have to tell them,'' Gunnar said in my ear, and I knew somehow that it wasn't a threat.

''Why the hell would you care?'' I asked while I tried to wipe away my tears.

'' One day I'll tell you,'' Gunnar promised, and I looked at him again.

There it was, the sadness. I hated that look on him. I was about to hug him again when I heard Hale screaming about us taking too much time and how his beautifully cooked meat was going to get cold on our sorry asses if we didn't sit down right this damn minute. I took a deep breath and got my drink before I went back outside with the others.


	6. Chapter four

_Hello everybody, _

_I am so sorry for the lack of updates, my life as gone to...well you get the picture. But fear not! Chapters are coming at a fast pace (Thanks to FictionWriter91 who is doing an amazing work, as always). _

_Enjoy your reading!_

_Pavs._

* * *

**_Chapter Four: A Long Night_**

* * *

[Gabrielle]

Life had been good for the past couple of weeks, sort of. The guys were great, and I found myself more and more comfortable around them. Tool kept giving me drawing and painting lessons, and there wasn't a day that passed without Toll giving me a new book recommendation.

It was nice talking to Toll. He knew so many things about authors, books, music and history that it made me wondered how his head didn't explode. He'd promised me to take me to one of the local museums, and I was looking forward to it. I hoped that I would get to know him better too, all of them, really. I knew what they liked and some of their habits, but the fact that they still hadn't opened up more than that to me after almost two weeks made me feel uneasy.

I knew that I wasn't in danger with them, but there was something…off. Christmas kept looking at me like I was a threat, and Toll hit Hale on the shoulder to shut him up whenever he was about to talk about their jobs. And then, there was Gunnar.

I wanted to trust him, but I also needed to protect myself. Some part of me knew that it was beginning to look like a losing fight, that my defenses would give up so that I could talk to him. I looked at the clock and sighed. There was no way in hell that I'd be able to sleep, and it was 3 a.m.

I took a vest and went downstairs. I was about to go outside when I decided to leave a note for Barney. I had my phone and would be in my car, so I highly doubted that something would happen, but still. I opened the garage door and got into my mustang.

[Gunnar]

The bar was too crowded, even for a weekend, but he'd came here to make sure that the guys wouldn't see him like this. He drank vodka from the bottle and closed his eyes, the one person who'd been on his mind ever since he first saw her appearing almost instantly as always.

Gabrielle.

She was so broken, fierce, vulnerable, complicated and just plain fucking beautiful. He'd loved her response to Christmas's attitude. And then she got attacked and fucking thanked them for saving her. He got up and stayed there for a moment, waiting for the room to stop spinning.

''Fucking hell,'' he said before he tried to get to the door.

The fresh air hit his face, and he thanked God that they were in January. Louisiana was just way too hot. He'd loved Sweden for that. Too bad that he wouldn't be going back. He wasn't that ready to face how much he had fucked up. Plus, he had the guys, and Gabrielle…

She hadn't been scared of him. She treated him like he was normal, and it was refreshing. He remembered her scars and sighed. That girl deserved better. He took one last sip from the bottle before he threw it in a trashcan. She was different; he liked it. A lot.

Gunnar then searched his pockets for a cigarette and found meth instead. He looked at the bag for a long time before he heard Gabrielle's car. He threw it away and walked up to her.

[Gabrielle]

I was lost. Again. At least this time I was in my car. I'd just stopped at a red light when someone knocked on my car window, making me screech like a fucking dinosaur. I heard Gunnar's laugh and unlocked the door for him to get in.

''That was unladylike,'' he mocked, and I looked right in front of me, trying not to smile.

''That smell is not one of a gentlemen either,'' I commented, and he snorted.

''Do I look like a gentlemen to you?'' he asked before adding: ''Besides, what are you doing here princess?''

I didn't respond right away, and he sighed.

''Turn right at the next stop. I am tired, and you need to sleep,'' he said, and I did as instructed.

We fell into a comfortable silence, save for the few other directions he gave me. Before I knew it, we were back at Tool's. I turned off the engine, and he took my keys.

''You know I need those, right?'' I said as he got out the car. He didn't respond, so I followed him inside, all the way up to his room.

''There are shirts and shorts somewhere in there,'' Gunnar said, and I looked at him without even bothering to hide my surprise. ''The bathroom's over there.''

He turned on his TV and took off his boots. I went on to look in his drawers and found a t-shirt that would do. The shorts were too big, and the shirt fitted like a dress, so that was good enough. I went to change in the bathroom and took some time to wash my face. By the time I was done, I could hear Gunnar snoring.

I opened the door and looked at him. He didn't even look peaceful while he slept. I lay down next to him and before I knew it, I was caressing his scar with the tip off my fingers. Gunnar put one of his arms around me and pulled me closer to him while mumbling some non-sense in a foreign language.

I was waiting for my brain to scream at me that this was a bad idea, that I should get up and go to one of the empty rooms at least. But my mind was unusually quiet, and I fell asleep.

[Barney]

The second he woke up he had a feeling that something had happened. He took the handgun hidden under his pillow and went to Gabrielle's room, only to find it empty. He called out to her and ran downstairs when he heard nothing. Everything was right where they left it, except for a note on the door. He read the message and sighed. It was only four and a half (not sure what this is in reference to...4:30 am?), she would probably be back soon. He made himself some coffee and sat on the couch.

He looked at his gun and took a deep breath. Then another. He knew it was only a matter of time before she would find out about their jobs. All it took was a word, a simple misplaced gesture, a surprise cleaning gone wrong… He wasn't ready for that. Gabrielle had only been with him for a little more than two weeks, and he had seen how much she loved being in a simple routine, how at ease she was with them. Perhaps this was exactly why he couldn't bring himself to tell her. Barney loved this life, and the guys seemed to like it too, not to mention the never-ending smile Tool had on his face since he'd start teaching Gabrielle how to draw and paint.

Barney closed his eyes and sighed again. At their ages, they should all have families, steady jobs, maybe a house, and, in his and Tool's cases, grandkids. He went to his computer and did another search on Gabrielle.

He found pictures, most of them from the media and Facebook posts. He saw Gabrielle when she was a baby, sleeping in her mother's arms. Then she was a bit older, singing, dancing and counting on her fingers. He saw every candle on every birthday cake and hunting trip pictures where she had looked so proud of herself.

He could see himself being in the forest with her, answering her million questions. He saw another picture of Sarah, and for the first time in weeks, he felt anger. She'd kept him from this life, her life. Gabrielle was an adult now, and he hadn't seen her growing up.

He kept looking at the pictures and noticed that she'd gradually traded the hunting trips for formal social events, that she had less and less friends and that her smile was fading over the years. The memory of her scars came back at full force in his mind, and he turned the computer off. He was there now, and that smile would stay there, he'd make goddamn sure of it.

He heard his alarm go off and realized that Gabrielle still wasn't back. He got dressed and went to Tool's.

[Gunnar]

Gunnar had woken up an hour after he'd fallen asleep. Gabrielle was crying in her sleep and was reaching for her scars. He took her into his arms and tried to talk to her. It took him about two minutes to calm her down, and he kept looking at her. He knew that inviting her into his room wasn't one of his brightest idea, but he knew what it was like to have your mind being too loud for your own good, and he'd figured that he could make sure she wouldn't be hurting herself.

He sighed, wondering when the hell he'd become that fucking sensitive, not that he was completely heartless, but well…the guys could testify that he wasn't completely harmless either. She started snoring softly, and he smiled. He couldn't, wouldn't harm her. Never. He closed his eyes and fell asleep again.

.

He woke up again to the sound of something falling on his bathroom floor. He then heard Gabrielle cursing, and he got up to see if she was all right. She was sitting on the counter, trying to redo her bandages. He got closer and took the matter in his own hands. They didn't say a word throughout the whole process. He was about to leave when she took his hand.

''Thank you, Gunnar,'' she said, and he gave her a small smile.

[Gabrielle]

I left Gunnar's room in the morning, not really seeing anything as I went to started coffee. I opened the fridge to see if there was anything to eat. I was about to put the eggs on the counter when I heard a voice and accidentally dropped them on the floor.

[Tool's]

''Hey brother, you never sleep?'' asked Tool while Christmas was looking at Barney.

It was about 8 a.m., and they'd just had their first coffee. Lee saw the worried look on Barney's face and got up from his chair, going over to him.

''Got a problem with Gabrielle?''

Barney showed them the note, and Tool frowned.

''It's been a couple hours. Have you tried her phone?'' Lee asked.

''Of course, he did," Tool retorted before Barney could speak. ''Let's ask the guys if they have heard something.''

They went up the elevator, just in time to see Gabrielle preparing breakfast, wearing only one of Gunnar's shirt.

''What the fuck?!'' Barney exclaimed, and she dropped the eggs on the floor.

Toll got out of his room as quickly as he could to see what was happening and found himself at a loss of words when he saw what Gabrielle was wearing. The fact that a shirtless Gunnar came out right after him wasn't helping either.

''Well, I should go get something to clean this up,'' Gabrielle said, trying to escape this awkward moment as fast as she could.

''Stop! Don't. Move,'' Barney ordered. When Gunnar tried to speak, he added: ''Sit!''

Both Gunnar and Gabrielle took a chair to sit on while Toll and Lee were wondering if they should stay or not. Gabrielle saw the amused smile on Tool's face and only then did she seem to understand why her father was angry.

''Oh. Oh shit! Look, Dad, it really isn't what you think!'' she yelped.

''Of course it isn't,'' Tool said with a mocking tone, and Gabrielle glared at him.

''It really isn't,'' she insisted. Feeling panicked, she tried to hide her arms behind her.

Toll was the first one to notice.

''You've done it again?'' he asked, and Gabrielle looked at Gunnar.

''You fucking knew?'' Barney asked, outraged.

''So, what if I did? She wasn't ready to talk. I asked her to, and she said she wasn't ready. Nothing happened last night. Nothing she didn't wanted at least,'' Gunnar added, and Barney took a step forward.

Toll's eyes widened in shock, and Lee and Tool shared concerned looks. Nobody noticed Gabrielle's state until she was on her feet, running for the stairs.

''Shit!'' Toll cried. '' I'll talk to her. Try to keep Barney from killing him.''

Then he took off after her. Gunnar and Barney looked at each other for a long time before Gunnar sighed.

''Look, I really didn't do anything inappropriate. I am not that fucked up, you know,'' Gunnar indignantly.

''Why then?'' Tool asked.

''She was lost in the city. It was a coincidence that I found her. She looked like she needed to not be alone,'' Gunnar explained.

''You'd know the feeling,'' Lee pointed out, and Gunnar sneered at him.

''Fuck off Christmas. We don't all have a crazy woman to make us forget that our life is shit,'' he snapped.

''That what she is to you?'' Barney demanded.

''Fuck no. I just…I care ok? Is that all?'' Gunnar asked, sarcastic as possible.

''Yeah, you're good,'' Tool said, and Gunnar went back to his room.

Barney was about to tell him that they were, in fact, not done when Toll came back.

''She went back to your place to take a nap. I am going back to sleep. She's ok Barney.''

Tool and Lee went back downstairs, and Barney looked at the eggs. He cleaned up the mess, looking at Gunnar's door every five seconds. There was something going on with Jensen, and he didn't like it, at all


	7. Chapter five

_Hey everybody!_

_Here's another chapter for you!_

_Enjoy your reading!_

_Pavs. _

* * *

**_Chapter Five: Mad World_**

* * *

[Gabrielle]

I was glad that Toll hadn't asked me more than "are you ok?" Truth is that I kind of didn't know what to think about this whole situation. I got home and went to bed. When I got up again, my father was there, but he didn't say anything. It was unnerving, to say the least. The next couple of days saw me going to Tool's and my therapist. I didn't really see the others. Toll and Hale were God knows where, and Lee was with Lacy again, or so I heard. And Gunnar…well. We did share looks, but I didn't talk to him that much, and it seemed fine by him. It wasn't until five days after the incident that I had a real conversation with my dad again.

He was working on his truck, and I sat on his work bench to look at him.

''You got bored?'' Barney asked with a small smile, and I nodded.

''I got two hours to spare until I go to Tool's. What are you doing exactly?'' I asked, and his smile grew bigger before he explained what was the problem with the engine.

He ended up giving me a Fully Repair Your Car 101 class, and I had to run to Tool's.

[Tool]

''So, I take it you and your father are on speaking terms again?'' Tool questioned when he saw her struggling to wash off the oil on her cheek.

''Yeah, kind of,'' she answered with a smile, and Tool smiled.

He remembered his conversations with Barney after that morning, and he had to admit that he understood his concerns. Gunnar had good intentions, but he wasn't always stable. Add that to the fact that Barney was an over protective father and that Gabrielle was kept from the truth, it was a ticking bomb, a big one at that.

''He's just not ready to deal with the fact that you're a woman,'' Tool noted, and Gabrielle blushed.

''Nothing happened, I told you that,'' she said while glancing around to make sure that they were alone.

Tool couldn't help but smile.

''So, what if something happens?'' Tool asked. Gabrielle raised her brows at him in response.

''Fine, with anyone,'' he corrected.

''Aren't you suppose to teach me something? Or are you just at that age where you like to talk about rumors on your rocking chair?'' Gabrielle asked mischievously, and Tool laughed.

''Not that old yet, sweetheart,'' he said before he took a seat beside her.

''That's what he likes to think,'' Christmas teased while entering the shop.

Gabrielle smirked as Lee sat not too far from them.

[Gabrielle]

I hadn't heard Lee coming in. I laughed at his comeback and looked at him. We didn't talk that much. The fact that he always was on his phone with Lacy certainly didn't help. I remembered his concerned look when they found me in the alley and the face he made each time I talked with Gunnar. It was unsettling, like he didn't know how to interact with me at all. I realized that I'd been staring when he raised an eyebrow.

''Do you draw?'' I asked.

''No,'' he answered, and Tool shook his head.

This was awkward.

[Lee]

He hadn't meant to make her feel out of place, but he honestly didn't know what to say to her. As much as he tried to have a normal, civil life with Lacy, Gabrielle and her lack of knowledge about their line of work was a constant reminder that he did not, in fact, have a normal life.

Barney would have to talk to her soon. It was harder and harder each day to hide it from her. And try as he did, he could not forget the look of fear and shock she'd had when they found her. He also couldn't forget about the way she'd spoken to him the first time they met or the way she thanked them after. He'd never seen someone like her.

The women they knew were either trained mercenaries, enemies, clients or one night stands. Well…except for Lacy. He should probably talk to her too. He could judge Barney all he wanted, but in the end, he did the exact same thing to her. Perhaps that's why he hadn't been as loud as Gunnar about the matter. He was lost in his thoughts and started playing with his knife. Tool didn't notice it until Gabrielle spoke.

''You like knives?'' she asked and both the men froze.

[Gabrielle]

I saw I went too far the second I finished my sentence. Of course it would put them in a bad mood to talk about it. I looked at the knife, then at Lee to apologize, only to find him bearing the exact same expression he had that night. I looked at Tool, and I could see the concern in his eyes. I felt the panic rise while my mind was drowning in those memories. I knew how it would look, but the awkwardness had transformed into a full-blown anxiety attack, and I needed to get out.

''I…I think I'll be going,'' I managed to say before I ran off to my car.

[Barney]

He heard the front door open and close, then nothing. He got up to see what was going on and saw Gabrielle making her way to her room, looking like she'd been crying. Barney frowned and was about to ask her what was going on when she closed her door. He then heard the shower and resumed his work.

[Tool's]

Toll came back from his trip with Hale and was almost hit with a knife as soon as he opened the door.

''Fucking hell Christmas you're going to kill someone with that!'' exclaimed Toll before he threw his bag on the couch. ''What the hell was that for anyway?''

Tool explained the situation to him and Toll felt his heart stop.

''So, you're telling me that you let her go on the verge of an anxiety attack, one that she had right after she saw his knife?'' Toll asked slowly, as if he tried to convince himself that they weren't actually that fucking stupid.

Lee and Tool seemed to have reached the same conclusion because they were all gone seconds later.

[Gabrielle]

I went to my bathroom and turned the shower on. I looked at my bandages and closed my eyes. I saw Lee's knife, Lee's face after the man died. I took off my clothes, ripped off the bandages and looked at my body. I was damaged. I was a burden. I started to cry. I looked through my things and found a knife. I got back to the shower and got in.

My arms were full of fresh scars, but not my legs, so I started to cut them. Again, and again. The pain felt good, so good. And then I saw the blood. There was too much. There had been so much when that man died. They had to kill for me. They had to endure me. Fuck, I couldn't even drive without getting lost.

I was a fucking mess. I cut myself one last time and then I stopped. I could hear Gunnar's voice in my head, telling me to stop. I got dressed and saw the blood getting through my clothes quickly. Everything hurt. I couldn't ask for help. I already asked for too much. I felt lonely, empty. I heard a scream, then I felt my throat beginning to burn and I realized that I was the one screaming.

[Barney]

Barney heard his front door opening with a bang and got up to see Toll, Tool and Lee running up the stairs. He was about to ask what the fuck was going on when they heard her scream.

[Gabrielle]

''Gabrielle!'' Barney screamed, and I froze.

I knew he wasn't alone. I could hear at least three more people walking into my room.

''Gabrielle, we only want to help,'' Toll said gently, and I started to cry again.

I didn't deserve it. It became harder and harder to breathe. I was trapped.

[Barney's Place]

Lee knew she probably was in a shock state and that the guys good intentions weren't what she needed right now. This wasn't a therapy session; it was an emergency.

''Fuck that I am going in,'' Christmas said before he broke down the door.

He saw blood, a lot of it. Gabrielle was sitting on the floor and was struggling to breathe properly. He got past his shock at seeing her like that and got closer to her.

''I am sorry…I couldn't stop…I am so sorry. I…I can't…I... remembered the way you looked at me. I shouldn't have asked you. I am so sorry I went too far…'' Gabrielle tried to explain, and Lee felt his heart sink.

He hadn't meant for her to feel like that, even less so for her to feel like she couldn't talk about it. He'd never say it out loud, but Toll was right to remind them that they should talk about it. He'd never felt the need to seek out a professional, but he had his team. Gabrielle was in a new city with people she barely knew even though they were family.

''Let me help,'' he whispered. ''Try to breathe with me.''

He'd done it with a lot of victims that he'd had to rescue, but this was different. She was his best friend's daughter. She started to calm down a little after some breathing together, and he helped her up on her feet. She looked at Barney, Tool and Toll and tensed up again.

''It's ok. We're here to help,'' Toll repeated as she kept walking to her bed.

She was still bleeding, and Toll couldn't help but think that this looked exactly like the type of PTSD symptoms he'd witnessed while he was in the military. He took a look at Barney and saw that he was as pale as a ghost.

Tool went out of the room to get an emergency kit and came back quickly. He got a needle out, and Gabrielle tried to get out of bed at the sight of it.

''It's ok, he knows what he's doing. Take my hand, I'm right here,'' Barney reassured her with a shaking voice.

Gabrielle took his hand and looked at him.

''I am sorry, Dad,'' she said sadly, and Barney felt his eyes burning with tears.

''It's ok, it's ok,'' he repeated, trying as much as he could to convince himself that it was true.

He needed her to be ok. When she'd apologized to Christmas…he had to talk to her. He knew she would have had a breakdown eventually, and he couldn't help but feel that he was the reason why she didn't feel close enough to them to talk. She was intelligent, she could see they were hiding something and keeping her from their true selves. Of course, her past experience would tell her to be on guard.

She hissed when Tool began to close one of her wounds, and she squeezed Barney's hand a little more.

''It's ok. One at a time and then you'll be fine,'' he said and Gabrielle nodded.

She trusted him. And it hit him right there and then that she'd called him Dad for the first time. He kneeled beside her and passed an arm around her to hold her closer without disrupting Tool's work. Toll began to talk to her about the latest book he'd read to try and occupy her mind, and Lee listened while Tool tried to keep calm and focused to heal her as best as he could.

Gabrielle soon fell asleep, and they got her in the truck to get her to the hospital. She'd need more blood and medication too. Barney just hoped that the wake-up call wouldn't be too brutal.


	8. Chapter six

_Hello everybody!_

_I forgot to mention it, but the pairing(s) of this fiction were actually the results of a challenge. Since I won't be changing them, I was wondering what were your guesses as to with whom Gabrielle will end up with at the end of this fiction. _

_Be careful, nothing is always as it seems and this fiction is quite the novel (so there is much more to see). __I might also give you some fun/interesting facts throughout the author's note at the beginning of each chapter. The first one having a clue as for the non-pairing. _

_Fact #1: Did you know that the original pairing was between Gabrielle and Toll when I first started to write the story line 7 years ago?_

_Thank you for following this story and don't hesitate to leave a review if you have any comment/question/suggestion. _

_Enjoy your reading!_

_Pavs. _

* * *

**_Chapter Six: After the Storm_**

* * *

[Gabrielle]

Hospitals always smelled the same, and I hated it, not to mention the food. I'd been kept there for about a day and a half, and I couldn't wait to get out. Barney was the only one who could visit, and we didn't talk much, not about what happened anyway. The doctor had called in my therapist to make sure that I would talk to someone I knew, so at least they give a damn.

[Tool's]

Christmas kept throwing his knife at the target, and Tool was looking at the bottom of his glass. Toll kept looking at the door to see if Barney was coming, and Hale was staring at them all. Toll got up and started pacing.

'' He's got to tell her,'' he said and, Christmas threw his knife again.

''It's not our decision,'' Tool reminded him, but even he didn't seem convinced.

''Yeah, well it affects us too,'' Lee said. '' Barney's not deaf. He heard her apologies. Shit hits the fan, and the man acts like it's not raining on our heads.''

''He's our friend,'' Tool tried.

''Well then explain to me who in the bloody hell is supposed to tell him he's got his head up his arse if not us?'' Lee retorted.

Tool couldn't argue with that, and he honestly didn't want to.

''She won't talk to us until she's sure she can trust us. We've already said it many times, but in the meantime we're gonna have to find another way to at least get her to talk to us,'' Hale chimed in.

''Fucking brilliant. Want me to ask Gunnar?'' Lee asked as sarcastic as possible.

Nobody answered. Jensen was chaotic in his good intentions at best, but he cared… He cared. Tool and Toll shared a look. They both knew that Gabrielle cared too. This was going to be as comfortable as running in a mine field when Barney would find out.

[Gunnar]

He could feel his stomach in his throat. That hangover was particularly rough on him, but he had to forget, forget the smell of her hair and the feeling of falling asleep with her. He didn't want to fall for her, and he knew just how easy it could be. He didn't care that she thought she was broken; she was still beautiful. But he couldn't help her if he got murdered by Barney first.

And that was if she was interested. Why would she be? He was Crankeinstein, the giant toxic fucker. She deserved better. But if she did like him…

Damn, he was fucked.

He heard his ringtone and looked at the screen to see Gabrielle's name.

''Yeah,'' he said, silently cursing himself for the way his voice sounded.

''I didn't want to bother you, but would you mind bringing me more cream?'' she asked, her voice shaking.

His heart stopped.

''Where are you?'' he asked.

''Home…Thank you Gunnar,'' she answered, her voice so low it was almost a whisper.

''I'll be right there,'' he said before he hung up.

He had to help her.

[Barney]

She'd been home for less than a day when he heard her call Gunnar. It still bothered him that Jensen knew things about her that he didn't. But the way her voice sounded…it made him kind of glad that Gunnar was there for her. He knew the man had a good heart despite having a talent for getting himself into deep shit.

[Gunnar]

The first thing he noticed while coming into her room was the smell of bleach, making him wonder what the fuck had actually happened. He'd been gone three days tops. He looked at her and saw the tears rolling down her cheeks. Her blankets where covering her. He sat on the bed beside her, and she adjusted her position to lean on him. He took her in his arms, and she cried harder.

He said nothing at all. He just held her, thinking to himself that he should have been there. She finally calmed down and tried to sit up. Gunnar saw that she was in pain and got up to help her, making his way to the other side of the bed. He then noticed the emergency kit on the night stand and opened it to see that a lot of stuff was missing.

Gabrielle took the blanket off of her, and he felt his heart stop. She was wearing short shorts and her legs were covered in bandages. All of them stained. He proceeded to remove them, trying to ignore the sick feeling in his stomach.

''I…'' Gabrielle tried before stopping herself.

He could see that she was as terrified as she felt guilty. He took the cream and applied it as softly as he could. He then changed her bandages, knowing that Gabrielle still was looking at him. He finished the last one and looked up, only to find himself looking straight into her eyes.

''Gabrielle,'' he whispered, and she sighed.

''I know. I need to stop. I am sorry,'' she replied with a shaking voice.

He took her hand in his, and she took the opportunity to help herself up. She then gave him a hug, and Gunnar returned the embrace, closing his eyes as if he would feel her more this way.

''I know you've already done a lot for me but…would you mind staying?'' Gabrielle asked, and Gunnar felt his heart beat faster. ''I…You're right, I can't lie to you and I…I just need someone to talk too…If that's ok with you?''

''Always,'' Gunnar answered before he let her go so they could both sit on her bed.

[Tool's]

Barney had tried really hard not to lose it for the past couple of days. Sitting beside Gabrielle at the hospital had been hard on him, but seeing her being this close to Gunnar…he might be old and socially awkward, but he wasn't fucking blind.

He'd got out of the house as fast as he could or he would've thrown Jensen out of the window. But she needed to talk, didn't she? He almost turned around at least a dozen time on his way to Tool's.

''How is she?'' his friend asked as soon as he stepped in the tattoo shop.

''With Gunnar,'' Barney answered curtly, visibly pissed off.

''Well, that explains all the joy,'' Tool retorted.

''How else should I take it? He got in her room and... I know I shouldn't have, but I watched them. She asked him to talk…she hugged him.''

''She did?'' Tool asked, surprised, and Barney sighed.

''As soon as he got there. I got the feeling that it ain't the first time. I just don't get it. She trusts him, I mean him.''

''He gets her in a way that we don't. You know as well as I do, probably even more, that she's been judged all her life by people. He never will,'' Tool started.

''We won't either!'' Barney exclaimed, and Tool sighed.

''But he tells her the truth. She ain't stupid Barns, she knows there's something going on, and she also knows that Gunnar isn't afraid to talk to her. There's also the fact that Gunnar has had his fair share of problems. They both are addicts in a way, and they understand each other.''

''Yeah, about that…''Barney began before Tool interrupted him.

''Don't go there. I am not saying the man's harmless. Fuck, he really isn't, but I highly doubt he'd ever hurt her. You know what he's been through to get and stay here,'' Tool argued.

''And what if he goes Crankeinstein again? You know we can't risk it. As much as I care about the guy, God knows we can't risk it,'' Barney said with a worried look.

''I know," Tool admitted.

God, did he know.

Then the phone rang, and Tool knew that this day wasn't going to get any easier.

[Barney's]

Gunnar had listened to Gabrielle talk about how, why and when she'd started to self harm, and it made it that much easier to hate her family. She then talked about better, happier times with her friends, and he liked the way her face lit up when she was sharing about the things she loved.

He was fucked.

He was about to tell her about him when his phone rang. It was a text message telling him they had a meeting.

''What's wrong?'' Gabrielle asked, and he looked at her.

He was so, so fucked.

''Gotta get back to work, princess,'' he replied, and he could hear the sadness in his own voice.

He hated to not be able to tell her. It made him feel that this whole trust thing was fake, and he wanted it to be real.

''Alright then, I guess we're gonna have to see each other later?'' Gabrielle offered, and he nodded.

It had been a while since he'd hoped or even cared that nothing would go wrong on a mission. He did now.

''You won't even have time to miss me,'' he joked half-heartedly.

The smile she gave him in return made him hate himself even more.

[Tool's]

Barney was putting the plans away while the others looked at him. Somebody had to talk to him.

''You forgot about an important part of the plan,'' Christmas pointed out.

''Why, go ahead Lee,'' Barney said, sarcastic as possible.

''Don't get all high and mighty on me Ross. You know damn well what I am talking about,'' Christmas growled, and Barney got closer to him.

''None of your business,'' Barney told him.

''Really? What if one of us gets hurt or doesn't make it?'' Gunnar asked, and silence followed his question.

They all were thinking it, but the fact that Gunnar was the one to mention it made them feel uncomfortable. Jensen was more of the shoot first, ask questions later type of guy, and he might have been unstable and often demented, but doubtful? If something scared that man, you better run fast cause it ain't pretty.

''And if something happens to you, what should I tell her?'' Jensen added. ''You might feel good about lying to her, but I don't. She trusts me, Barney, whether you like it or not, and she trusts you too, all of us in fact. I don't want her to hate us if this goes south.''

Barney could feel himself giving up.

''And I am not saying that it will, but if shit hits the fan, we're going to have to make sure that she's safe. I don't want her to find out like that or by herself cause what do you think will happen if she does?'' Gunnar pressed.

''She's not ready to…'' Barney tried.

''To be lied to,'' Lee interrupted, agreeing with Gunnar for once.

''I'll talk to her when we get back,'' Barney promised, and while it wasn't ideal, they knew it was the best they would get from him. ''I wrote her a letter in case something happens.''

''Well, make sure that we don't have to give it to her,'' Tool said before they left the office.

[Barney]

He found her asleep on the couch with the TV still on. He smiled before he sat down to wake her up.

''Hey,'' she said with a tired voice.

''Sorry to interrupt your nap, but I thought your bed might be a bit more comfortable.'' Barney explained, and she laughed.

''Probably,'' she answered. "How was work?''

''We, uh, have to go away for a while. A week or two at the most, nothing that will stop us from celebrating your birthday,'' Barney answered, and she tried to hide her surprise.

''You don't have to plan anything,'' she said sincerely.

''I missed all the others, so…'' her father trailed off, and she offered him a sad smile.

''Ok then, but we keep it simple, yeah?'' she asked, and he smiled back.

''We can do that,'' he agreed, and she kissed him on the cheek before she went to her room.

He stayed there for a while before turning off the TV and going to his office to get another drink. He had to talk to her before it was too late. He couldn't lose her.


	9. Chapter seven

_Hello again!_

_I hope that you will enjoy this chapter as well. _

_Fact #2: I watched almost every interview made by the cast to make sure that I made the characters as canon as possible in my fiction. (They did have answers that the movies hadn't.)_

_Enjoy your reading!_

_Pavs. _

* * *

**_Chapter Seven: The Ride Will Take a While_**

* * *

[Gabrielle]

I was almost done with my bag when I heard footsteps behind me.

''You know I can walk just fine,'' I said, and I heard Tool's laughter.

''You're just as stubborn as your dad,'' he replied, and I turned to see him smile at me.

He then took my bag, and we went downstairs. When Tool had called to offer me to stay at his place until the others came back, I thought it would be great not to be alone. I wasn't out of the woods, but I really did want to make efforts to feel better, and being alone wasn't the best idea at the moment. Besides, I wanted to get to know him more.

I had still this weird feeling about all of them hiding something big from me, the lack of information and clear discomfort about their job being my biggest clue. After that came the way my father told me goodbye like he might never see me again. We got to Tool's place, and he put my things into the room next to Gunnar's.

''You officially have a room here now. I know I already told ya, but make yourself at home. And well, you know where I am if there's something wrong. I am on 24/7 if you've got any problems, you hear me?'' Tool said, and I hugged him.

''Thanks a lot, Tool,'' I said before he let me go.

''So, love, we cooking or we calling?'' he asked.

''You can cook?'' I asked playfully, and he laughed.

''That's it, you're coming with me,'' he replied, and I followed him to his apartment on the third floor.

It was a big open space loft. The door leading to the bathroom was on the right while the kitchen was on the left. The brick walls were covered with paintings, drawings and old music posters. Behind the kitchen was a couch facing a TV, and I could see a king size bed partially hidden behind a massive bookcase. There was no dining room, so I took a seat at the counter while Tool started to make dinner.

''You want a beer?'' he asked while taking one, but I declined.

''I don't like it. I like the better stuff,'' I replied, making him smile.

''Now that's what I am talking about,'' he crowed while putting back his beer in the fridge, switching it for a whiskey bottle and two glasses.

[Barney's Santa Plane]

They were almost there when Church contacted them to warn them that their contact was…indisposed. Lee sighed and went to the back of the plane to call Tool. Still no service. He swore under his breath and took the phone hooked up to the plane's system. The call went on speaker, and Lee thought that Barney ought to stop buying shitty planes. He heard someone pick up the phone and talked.

''Hey Tool, look we got to…'' he began before he got interrupted.

''Christmas!'' Gabrielle exclaimed with an enthusiasm that made him suspicious.

They weren't on bad terms, but they didn't talk that much either, especially with that much enthusiasm.

''Hey, hum, where's Tool?'' Christmas asked.

''Downstairs, digging through his stash, I think…'' Gabrielle answered.

''His stash?'' Lee echoed, and then he realized. '' You two have been drinking.''

One look at the others and he saw a wave of amusement flowing through the group.

''Wow, Tool is not afraid of Barney,'' Hale laughed.

''I am Canadian, Hale; I've been drinking for a while now,'' Gabrielle laughed.

''You're drunk, aren't you?'' Toll asked.

''No…I am very drunk.'' Gabrielle admitted, and they laughed.

''Bloody hell," Lee muttered.

''Say that again Christmas?'' Gabrielle asked.

''I said bloody hell,'' Christmas replied a little louder.

''Ooh again, I love your accent,'' she giggled, and Lee froze as he felt a wave of heat hitting his cheeks.

''Where's Tool, I need to talk to him,'' Lee said, changing the subject.

''Alright I am here, I'm here,'' Tool said, and they realized she'd put them on speaker too.

They heard a click and the echo disappeared.

''Can I help you?'' he asked with an amused tone.

''We need a hand; the contact has changed. Church sent you his info," Lee explained.

''Say that again, I love your accent,"' Tool teased while the others laughed.

''Fuck off will ya!'' Lee said angrily, and they heard Tool's laughter before he hung up.

Lee returned to the cockpit and to his seat.

''So, he's on it?'' Barney asked, and Lee nodded.

''He better be,'' Lee growled, and Barney offered him an amused smile.

''If it's any consolation, I like your accent too,'' Barney laughed.

'' Screw you,'' Lee shot back before he laughed too.

[Tool's]

''So, you like Christmas's accent?'' Tool said to Gabrielle, and she laughed.

She hadn't had a drink in a while, which Tool noticed while they ate. They'd slow down a bit since he didn't want her to get sick.

''Yeah, I do, but he treats me like a child. Or a ticking bomb,'' she said.

''Don't worry, he as that affect on everybody. Except Barney, he's more like his wife,'' Tool replied, and Gabrielle smiled.

She took a bottle of water from the fridge and went to sit next to him on the couch. She was taking a sip when Tool spoke again.

''And with Gunnar?'' he asked, and she choked on it.

She managed to breathe normally again, but Tool could see that she still hesitated to talk to him.

''I…I don't know how to explain it,'' she finally said. '' It's like I just know that I am safe with him, that I can trust him…''

There was a moment of silence, and Tool found himself having flashbacks about the times he had to help Gunnar. Then he had some about Gabrielle bleeding on her bed. He knew that Gunnar could help, but just like Barney, he also knew that things could get bad very quickly.

''He's not the only one I trust you know?'' she said in a voice so low that it sounded almost like a whisper. ''I know that I haven't talked to you about it much, but I never stopped being thankful that you saved me. And with all you help and support, I…I feel like I owe you in a way.''

''You owe me nothing,'' Tool said with so much sincerity that Gabrielle believed him without hesitation.

Still, she knew she'd always feel that way.

''Of course, I do,'' she replied, her voice shaking. ''I tried to make peace with the fact that it wasn't my fault and that you chose to defend me. I really do try to get better. And those art lessons, it really helps. Nobody ever took the time to teach me something their passion, to share something with me. You did, and even though I still struggle to talk about my feelings, I know that one day I'll be ready and that you're going to be there.''

Tool could feel the tears in his eyes. She was so sincere, so vulnerable and full of love, he was speechless.

''I never felt like that, like I belong somewhere and it means so much to me,'' she said while tears were rolling down her cheeks.

She then looked at him straight in the eyes and added: ''Thank you so much, Tool.''

Gabrielle tried to wipe her tears, and he took her in his arms. She cried a little harder, and he closed his eyes.

''I promise you Gabrielle, for as long as I breathe, you'll always be safe and at home with me,'' Tool whispered.

She thanked him again, and he held her until she fell asleep.

.

She woke up to the sound of Creedence Clearwater and the apartment smelling like coffee and bacon. She tried to open her eyes and swore. Tool laughed, and she saw him plating eggs and bacon for her.

''I could've sleep on the couch,'' she said while getting up to join him in the kitchen.

''I've known worse sweetheart,'' Tool replied with a smile.

His phone rang, and she saw his smile vanish when he looked at it. She frowned but still ate her breakfast while he went out to talk in private with the caller. When she saw that he wasn't coming back any time soon, she went back to sleep in her room.

[Yang]

''I double checked the info Christmas sent me, and he was right. The whole mission is compromised,'' Yang said while looking at his screen.

Tool sighed.

''Were you still on your way to New Orleans?'' Tool asked.

''Yes, but I can go and join them,'' Yang replied.

''Don't. I know someone who's going to be able to help, but I have a feeling he won't do it unless I am there myself,'' Tool explained before adding: ''I do have a favor to ask you.''

''What do you need?'' Yang asked.

''Gabrielle's at my house and was supposed to stay until Barney was back. Can you make sure she's ok? She seems better, but I want to make sure that she's not alone if she relapses or if something goes wrong.''

''I can do that, although I am not sure how she will react to me,'' Yang agreed.

''Yeah, I know it's far from ideal. I'll talk to her about it so she won't be too surprised to see you.'' Tool promised. '' And remember, she doesn't know anything.''

The line went dead, and Yang looked at the time. He was hoping that Tool knew what he was doing because he'd be meeting Gabrielle in less than three hours.

[Tool's]

Tool had had the time to pack his things and put them in his truck by the time Gabrielle came back from her nap.

''Are you ok?'' she asked, and he almost jumped off his chair from fright. ''Sorry, I thought you heard me coming.''

''No harm done, I was just thinking,'' Tool said, rubbing his neck anxiously. ''We, um, need to talk.''

She looked at him, and he could see that she was worried. He motioned for her to sit down, and she did.

''I have a friend who was supposed to spend some time here. His name is Yin Yang.'' Tool said and she now looked confused. '' He'll be here in about an hour now I believe. The problem is that your father needs my help and that I have to leave in thirty minutes so I don't miss my flight.''

''Is he ok?'' she asked, and he nodded.

''Yeah, don't worry, sweetheart,'' Tool said, a bit mad at himself for the lie. ''Do you have your phone?''

''Yes," she nodded before she unlocked it and gave it to him.

He entered some new contacts and gave it back.

''As I said, you are always welcome here. Here's a set of keys. If you need anything, Yang will help,'' Tool explained, and she took the keys with a surprised look on her face.

He smiled at her, and she looked back at her phone.

''Trench?'' she asked, and Tool couldn't stop the amused smile from appearing on his face.

The smile was gone soon when he remembered why he gave her his number.

'' If you have an emergency and no one answers, call him. He's a friend to both your father and I, even though Barney doesn't admit it. We've known each other for at least a century, and I am sure he'll help you. If he can't, call Booker. To be honest, I haven't seen him in years, and I don't know where he is, but he's reliable. And…well I hope you don't have to get that far but…''

Gabrielle felt herself tensing up at his hesitation. The whole thing felt way more serious than it should.

''If…if it's a matter of life or death and no one answers, you call these numbers,'' Tool added.

Gabrielle saw that one was a nickname and the other simply was a number. She frowned.

''Life or death? Who is this? What's happening Tool?'' she demanded, and he cursed Barney for not telling her.

''You don't need to know. Just promise me you won't call unless you need to,'' Tool said, and when she accepted, he hugged her. '' Don't worry, Gabrielle, we'll be back before you get bored.''

She returned the embrace for a while before letting him go.

''Take care of yourself ok?'' she asked.

''Ok,'' he answered before he went to his truck. She watched him with a worried look on her face.

[Gabrielle]

I was sitting in front of the television without really looking at it. There was something going on, and I needed to know what. I felt my phone buzzing and saw a text message.

''You can borrow my books if you want'' – Toll

''Tool told you, didn't he?'' -Gabrielle

''Well, he is coming to join us.'' -Toll

''Thank you''- Gabrielle

''Will you tell Christmas that I am sorry, I was a bit drunk.'' -Gabrielle

''No. It was hilarious. (Hale)'' -Toll

''You won't let us forget it?'' -Gabrielle

''Never. (Hale)''-Toll

''Okay sweetie.'' -Gabrielle.

''Wow, you have a way with words. I like your style.'' -Toll

I laughed, of course I'd always had a way with words. It had been a while since I had used it though.

''Are you sure you can talk to me? Tool told me you had a situation at work.'' -Gabrielle

''We are waiting for him. Don't worry, we're good.'' -Toll

''Ok.'' -Gabrielle

''Wait, I think Yang just arrived. Is it him?'' -Gabrielle

I had sent a picture to make sure. I didn't want to admit it, but my conversation with Tool had shaken me a little.

''Yeah, it's him. Take care Gabe.'' -Toll

''You too.'' -Gabrielle

I put my phone back in my pocket as Yin Yang entered the shop.

''You must be Gabrielle?'' he asked, and I nodded. ''You have your father's eyes.''

''Thank you,'' I replied, hesitantly.

He smiled at me, and I tried to relax a little.

''Um, are you hungry mister Yang? I was about to have lunch," I offered.

''It will be my pleasure to join you, but only if you call me Yang. The 'mister' makes me feel unnecessarily old,'' he answered, and my smile was suddenly more genuine.

[Yang]

Gabrielle didn't talk much, just as he expected. She did make an effort to have a civilized conversation, which had turned into a more interesting one once she started to ask about where he came from and his history. He was glad that they had switched to those subjects, especially since he couldn't answer half of her questions when it came to his job or present occupation. He offered to clear the table and went to his temporary room to unpack.

[Gabrielle]

Yang seemed nice enough even though he didn't share much about himself. Not that I blamed him, but I'd only rarely seen someone avoid so many simple questions. I was on my way to get some pencils and sheets when I saw that the office door had been left open.

I knew I shouldn't, but Tool's instructions haunted me, and I had the strange feeling that Yang's strange behavior was connected to them somehow.

I entered the office and opened one of the computers. Password required…I sighed. My gaze lingered on the desk drawers, and I opened the first one. My heart missed a beat when I saw a loaded gun next to a set of keys. I turned around and looked at the filing cabinet and decided that at this point, I might as well go all the way.

I searched for the right key, opened a drawer and took a file. I started to read it and felt the world crashing around me. I knew there was something off, but this…

Nothing could have prepared me for this.

[Yang]

He'd gone back to the first floor and saw no signs of Gabrielle. He was about to go and look for her when he noticed that the door leading to the office was wide open. He prepared himself and went to look inside, only to find her sitting at the table with a bunch of files open in front of her.

She looked pale. She was shaking a little, and he felt his pulse racing. He shouldn't be the one to take care of this. She shouldn't have learned it that way. Barney and Tool should've been here to contain the damage done. Yang knew full well that social interactions weren't his forte, not when it was this personal anyway.

He approached her slowly but loudly so he wouldn't startle her. She looked up and pointed the emergency gun that Tool kept here on him. He stopped, putting his hands up and waited for her to speak.

''Why are you really here?'' she asked, and he barely held a sigh.

''Barney and Tool were worried about leaving you alone after your panic attack,'' he answered truthfully.

'' Oh yeah, they worried about me so much that they lied to me,'' she spat while pushing a file towards him.

He instantly recognized the photo. It was Tool's last mission. He could be seen shaking hands with a CIA agent while covered in blood beside an equally bloody Barney.

He sat in front of her and said nothing.

''I am well aware that I am not the best person to talk to you about this, but if you have any questions, I may have answers,'' Yang offered, and she finally put the gun down.

''What do you do exactly?'' she asked, and he sighed.

It was going to be a long day.

[Gabrielle]

I was still looking at the files. I hadn't slept that night because of all the information Yang had given me. I was on the overthinking mode. He had explained to me exactly what their job was, and everything he told me was consistent with what I'd read in the files.

They were mercenaries who killed bad guys and saved hostages. They'd been in the army at some point in their life. Toll hadn't lied about that…not completely, and Gunnar…I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks. I trusted him. I trusted them, I…

I looked at my scars, they were red and just healed enough so I didn't have to put bandages on them at all times. I had a breakdown because I thought that…I had made Tool kill…no, this was still something I felt guilty about, and he had tried to tell me it was ok…

I closed my eyes and took a deep, deep breath. They'd been lying to me…but to protect me. But they had lied to me. I heard Yang coming in, and I looked at him.

''You should try and get some sleep. You still are safe here,'' Yang said with a soft voice.

He looked worried. It was then that it hit me. I still hadn't gone out running for my life. I still felt safe here. I then remembered all the conversations, the help, the support and they just… they'd taken care of me.

''You're right I…I'll see you later,'' I said before I took the gun and went to my room.

I put it under my pillows and closed my eyes, but sleep didn't come.

[Yang]

The days had transformed into weeks, and Gabrielle still spent her time looking at the files. She'd talk to him a little more every day, but not that much, and it was always work related. It took about six days for her to stop carrying the gun around, although he suspected that she slept with it. Barney would hate it.

Even though Yang didn't agree with him on not telling her, he understood why, and he feared his reaction to that new habit of hers, not that he could blame her. In fact, part of him was impressed by her line of thinking and the fact that she armed herself instead of running. That took real courage, there was no denying it.

On day 14, he was sitting at the desk in the office when she entered. She was wearing her leather jacket and boots. He frowned.

''I was hungry and felt like going to the grocery store,'' she explained, and he looked at her with questions in his eyes. '' I figured fresh air could help, so do you need anything while I am out?''

''No, thank you,'' he replied, and she left quickly.

He sighed and looked at the screen again. Someone had to make sure that the guys weren't being followed.

[Barney's Santa Plane]

Barney looked at the sky, feeling more tired than ever. The mission had been much more brutal than what they'd anticipated. Toll and Gunnar had makeshift stitches (Gunnar on his hairline and Toll on his right cheek), Lee and Hale had scratches all over them, Barney looked like he had been run over by a tank, and Tool…Tool had been shot.

He was stable, but his arm was fucked for a couple of weeks at least. And no one dared to tell him, but they were going back home to Gabrielle, and there would be no hiding it from her. He landed the plane, and they got the stock out and in the hangar. Hale and Lee had done most of the job and had gone back to their respective homes. Barney helped Tool into his truck and started the engine. They had to face Gabrielle, and he wasn't ready. He saw Gunnar and Toll pass before him and followed them.

They arrived at Tool's and saw Yang finishing a glass of liquor. Barney felt his stomach drop. Yang did not drink.

''Where's Gabrielle?'' Gunnar asked.

[Gabrielle]

I ended up leaving the store without buying anything. I couldn't focus, no matter what I did. Part of me was pissed off, but the other part could understand more and more why they did it.

I wondered what was going to happen now that I knew. How was I going to react next time they would have to leave? Was I even going to stay? I was about to go mad with all those unanswered questions when I was Barney's truck in front of the tattoo parlor. I slowed down and saw them facing Yang.

''Where's Gabrielle?'' Gunnar asked before he saw Yang looking at me.

I stopped breathing altogether when he turned to face me. He had bruises, scratches and a deep cut on his hairline. All of my questions and anger vanished when I saw his state and the fear in his eyes. I suddenly felt the same way I did when I first saw the sadness in his eyes while he helped me with my wounds.

''I…''he began, but he stopped when I got closer to him.

I touched his face lightly close to his cut before he looked at me straight in the eyes.

''Are you alright?'' I found myself asking in a whisper.

''I am fine,'' he replied, and for some reason, his answer made me turn to face the others.

I saw my father had bruises too and a black eye. Toll had wounds similar to Gunnar's and Tool… I almost ran to him and helped him sat on a chair.

''Tool…Yang, go get the kit,'' I ordered with a shaking voice.

He did as I asked, and I began to undo Tool's bandages. It was bleeding even more without the pressure on it. I took the gloves that Yang gave me. I put them on, and I saw the worried look on Tool's face. I removed the last part of the bandages and couldn't stop the tears when I saw his gunshot wound.

He had saved my life, and he was wounded, almost mortally so.

''Gabrielle,'' my father said, and I realized that everybody had moved around us and was looking at me.

I turned to Yang to see that he'd put everything I needed to help Tool on a stool beside us.

''Go get my father some ice please,'' I instructed, and he nodded before he went.

It must have been hurting; my dad was hurting. My dad who'd taken me in without asking anything in return. Toll who had shared his therapist with me and his time. Gunnar who'd helped me so many times and whom I…

I turned to my father once again.

''I know,'' I said with a soft voice.

I then focused on healing Tool. It killed me to see him like that.

''You didn't lock the office,'' I told him while I washed his wound. ''Sorry, this might hurt.''

Tool hissed, and I tried to be gentler.

''I didn't want you to find out like that,'' Barney confessed.

''I know. Yang explained some things to me while you were gone and I…well I read the rest,'' I said while finishing to close up the wound.

I then covered it and looked at Tool.

''Are you… you're going to be ok, right?'' I asked Tool while my sobs were getting harder and harder to contain.

''I will, I promise,'' Tool said while taking my hand, and I took a deep breath.

''I think…I'll be ok too. I realize that's its more complicated than that, but from what I understand I am not the only one you saved and…It's a lot to take in,'' I said before I looked at them. ''But I'll get use to it… well not seeing you go or seeing you hurt but…''

I didn't have time to finish my sentence before Barney hugged me. I returned the embrace as hard as I could while I kept crying. I didn't approve the technique, but I somehow knew that they only wanted to protect me. I felt safe, I felt love. I loved them.

I let go of my dad and turned to Gunnar and Toll.

''Are you both ok?'' I asked, and they nodded.

Knowing that I couldn't do more to help them, I turned my attention back to Tool who was getting paler. I helped him up and started to walk him to the elevator.

''Gabrielle?'' Barney called, and I turned to him.

''I just want to make sure he's ok. I'll stay with him, if that's alright with you. You should get some rest too. My room's next to Gunnar if you don't want to be too far…'' I said, and his gaze softened.

''I'll be in your room if you need me then. Don't hesitate to ask us for help,'' he answered.

''You don't have to do this,'' Tool tried, and I stared at him. '' Alright, thanks sweetheart.''

I could hear a small laugh coming from Toll, and I smiled. It was my turn to take care of them.


	10. Chapter eight

_Hey everybody!_

_I am sorry for the wait, I had bad news from the doctors about my health and it took me some time to deal with it. _

_But hey! I am back. (Yes, this was a Terminator pun)_

_Enjoy your reading!_

_Pavs._

* * *

_**Chapter Eight: The Light on Your Scars**_

* * *

[Gabrielle]

Tool had fallen asleep quickly, but I kept looking at him for almost two hours to make sure he was still breathing. I then got up to take a glass of water when I noticed that the kitchen counter needed some cleaning. Before I knew it, I'd cleaned up his entire apartment, and I still couldn't get myself to try to sleep.

I went to the second floor and began to clean up the common kitchen as well. This place had been a bit neglected over the years and looked better once I was done with it. I was about to put the cleaning products back under the sink when I heard Gunnar at the door behind me.

''Gabrielle?'' he asked, and I turned to look at him. ''You cleaned up?''

''Yeah, I was done with Tool's place, and I thought that I could help here too,'' I answered, and he sighed.

''You know that if you needed to talk you could have just…'' he started, and I felt a wave of anger.

''You lied to me,'' I cut him off, and he tensed up.

''I know. Gabrielle I am so sorry. I shouldn't have listen to Barney,'' he said while getting closer to me. ''I fucked up. I know I gave you no reason to believe me, but you can still trust me.''

''I…I know,'' I said, surprising us both. ''I am just…scared.''

''I'd…we'd never hurt you,'' Gunnar promised, and he was so close to me that I could feel the heat coming off of his body.

''I am not scared of you. I am scared to lose you.''

[Gunnar]

He felt his heart stop. He simply couldn't believe it, but God did he wanted to. He took her in his arms and he felt her relax against him.

''You should come with me, try and get some sleep,'' he offered, and she looked at him with tears in her eyes.

''I…I need to make sure he's ok.'' He nodded and let her go before he went in his room to get her a blanket.

He knew she was still in shock, and if he wanted to be honest with himself, he was worried about his friend's state too.

''Don't forget to sleep. He wouldn't want you to exhaust yourself for him, and neither do I,'' Gunnar said before he added in a softer tone: ''You really are special, Gabrielle; I wonder what we've done to deserve someone like you.''

She obviously didn't know what to say, and he smiled at her reaction.

''Good night, princess,'' he said.

''Good night, Guns,'' she replied before she went back to Tool's loft, clutching the blanket tightly against her.

[Barney]

He'd stayed to talk with Toll and Yang for a while before they went to the second floor. It wasn't that late, but they were exhausted. Barney did have a weird feeling when Yang focused their conversation on anything but Gabrielle. The elevator stopped, and they stepped out. Yang looked at Barney with a worried expression on his face which didn't go unnoticed by him, Toll or Gunnar, who was currently sitting at the kitchen table.

''What is it, Happy Feet?'' Gunnar asked.

Yang turned to Barney, and the bad feeling he had became worse.

''Be careful when you go to bed, '' Yang warned, and Barney looked at him, clearly confused. ''She has been sleeping with a gun since she first went in the office.''

Barney felt the blood drain from his face. He went into her room and ripped off the covers and pillows to see Tool's handgun under them, the same one that had been kept in the first drawer of his desk. He didn't know what to think. Of course, her first reaction would have to be fear. He could understand that.

''It took her almost a week to stop pointing it at me at every turn,'' Yang explained. '' After that, she simply slept with it to feel safer, I think.''

''I didn't want her to be afraid,'' Barney said.

''She's not,'' Gunnar interrupted. ''She just told me so.''

Barney looked at Jensen, and he could see that he tried to convinced himself too.

''We've got to give her time,'' Toll said. ''There's nothing else to do."

Barney silently agreed, and they all went to sleep. Barney lay on the bed, looking at the ceiling for a while. Tool had almost died, and the rest of them were far from being in one piece. He vowed not to involve him again. His friend had made it very clear that he was done with the job, and Barney knew that he loved to stay here and teach Gabrielle.

And as much as he wanted to not think about it, Gabrielle would need someone in case something happened to him. He knew Tool wouldn't let her down. Especially not after what she'd done for him after they came back.

She may have felt like she owed him, but he knew Tool would never ask for anything in return, even going as far as feeling like he owed her one for taking care of him. He closed his eyes and heard music coming from above. He'd leave him alone; Tool deserved some peace and quiet.

[Tool's]

Lee arrived at Tool's and saw Toll and Hale sharing donuts while Gunnar and Barney were having a cup of coffee. The tension could be cut with a knife, and Lee was about to ask if they'd talked to Gabrielle when she came in from the stairs.

She wore one of Tool's shirts and training shorts and had a laundry basket in her hands full of bloody sheets and clothes. There was a moment of silence, and Gabrielle's attention turned to Lee and Hale.

''Hey, you two. I hope you're ok too?'' she asked, and they just nodded.

They had no idea what to say.

''Good, um…would someone know where I can find bleach? Tool is asleep again, and I feel like he'd like to try and save his clothes so…''she explained while stuttering a little.

Barney felt a twinge of sadness at her state. She was clearly lacking sleep, and he could see blood stains on her fingers. He also knew that she was referring to her own sheets after her panic attack. A quick look around him confirmed that he wasn't the only one to be worried.

''I can show you,'' Hale offered, and she followed him to the laundry room.

[Hale]

He watched her scrubbing the sheets with way more vigour than necessary. He leaned back against the wall and folded his arms.

''You must be pissed to be that hard on them,'' he commented, and she turned to him.

He said nothing more, so she went to open the washing machine to put the sheets in it.

''Not really no,'' she answered. ''Besides, what's done is done. You can only pray that everything's going to be ok.''

Hale's gaze softened.

''He loves you, Gabrielle. He didn't want to hurt you,'' he said before he saw the anger in her eyes.

''What if Tool had died?! What if your injuries had been worse? What if no one had been there to tell me what happened?'' she demanded, and he could see the panic all over her face.

''What if you'd gone and never came back? Stop acting like you don't matter for fuck's sake! Yes, I am mad as hell that you lied to me, but I get it. God freaking help me I do! What you gotta understand is that you guys have done more for me in the last month then my whole family has done for me in years! I don't even have the words to explain to you that I…you are my home, Hale,'' she said as the tears started to roll down her cheeks. ''I never had that in my life before or felt that way about anyone except my mom. You accept me for who I am, and I love you for who you are. I am not special, we are. And I'll be damned if I let anything take that away from us. We're a family, and I never give up on family.''

Hale looked at her wiping her tears, and he found himself trying not to cry with her. He'd never been that emotional, but this…

''I am sorry, it came out of nowhere,'' she said, and he gave her a big bear hug.

''Don't you dare apologize for that,'' he ordered. '' Plus, you can be mad all you want; you'll always be special to me.''

''Sure, sweetie,'' she said as he let go of her, and he laughed.

He then heard her stomach protest, and he smiled at her.

''What manners! You take care of us, and we don't even feed you. Come on, there must be donuts left. If not, I'll cook you breakfast.''

''You a good cook?'' she asked.

''The best!'' he answered, and she couldn't help but smile sincerely at him. ¸

''Well, I am definitely not. Would you mind teaching me?'' she asked, and Hale looked like a child in a candy shop.

[Tool's]

''I AM KIDNAPPING HER, THANK YOU!'' Hale screamed before he took her in his arms.

He walked past them, and Gabrielle saw the team laugh.

''Barney, check on Tool!'' she exclaimed while her father shook his head, an amused smile on his face.

''Got ya!'' Barney said in a loud voice.

Toll got up to follow after them, having something planned with Hale in the afternoon. Barney looked at Gunnar to see him smiling.

''Yeah, she's going to be fine,'' Lee said, and they finally felt the stress vanish for the first time in weeks


	11. Chapter nine

_Hello again!_

_I can't even begin to tell you how much fun I had with this chapter. In the first (french version), I thought that we didn't see that much of the good memories the characters were referring to later in the story, so I added this. I hope it will make you laugh as much as I did when I wrote this. _

_Enjoy your reading!_

_Pavs. _

* * *

_**Chapter Nine: Somewhere Down the Road**_

* * *

[Gabrielle]

Hale definitely could cook. I saw the amused smile on Toll's face and raised an eyebrow as if to ask a question.

''You look like you're about to have an…'' Toll started before he stopped himself.

I could see him blush, and I laughed.

''I might just to see your face,'' I retorted back, and Hale laughed out loud.

''Damn girl, you got sass,'' Caesar said, and I smiled.

''You're going to miss the shy me,'' I said, and Hale looked at me with a devious smile.

''Oh well, if you're not afraid to dare…'' he began, and I felt like I might have spoke too soon.

.

''This is not a good idea,'' Toll said, and I agreed with him.

We all were _slightly_ intoxicated and, between chicken wings and bad karaoke, I had the brilliant idea to tell Hale that I'd always wanted to drive a tank. We'd gone to a building behind the hangar, which had some interesting…toys.

''Barney's going to kill us,'' Toll added, and I laughed.

''No. We got a tank,'' I said, and they both laughed.

''Alright let's do it,'' Hale said, and we got in.

It was glorious. Stupid, but glorious. Hale passed me the flask, and I drank from it while Toll explained to me how to drive it. He then passed me the commands, and I somehow managed to get it stuck canon first in the mud.

Hale was dying with laughter, and Toll was trying to tell me without laughing that it could happen to anyone.

''Fuckers,'' I said, and Toll lost it.

.

I knew my hangover was going to be bad, but my wake-up call was brutal. I ran to the bathroom and threw up the content of my stomach in the toilet.

''You ok in there?'' Hale asked, and I showed him my middle finger.

''Yeah, she's gonna live,'' Toll said, and I got up to take a sip of water from the tap.

''Barely,'' I managed to say, and Toll gave me a towel.

''There is some pain meds under the sink. Do you want something to drink?'' Hale offered.

''Tea, please,'' I answered.

''I see you got the Christmas spirit,'' Hale teased, and Toll snorted.

I smiled and went to join them in the kitchen.

[Lee]

He'd packed his bags and went to Tool's in a cab. He'd have to get his bike later. Lacy apparently only like the idea of being with a bad guy. He entered Tool's and saw the man himself looking at him with a sad smile on his face. Lee squared up, he had a tattoo to cover up.

[Tool's]

''You shouldn't be betting on this with your arm,'' Lee said.

''No, you shouldn't. You're supposed to be resting,'' Gabrielle agreed while entering the tattoo parlor.

''Yeah, I see you applied that advice to yourself,'' Tool said in a mocking tone, and Gabrielle rolled her eyes.

''I am not the one who's been shot,'' she retorted back.

''No, but you've taken some,'' Tool mocked, and Lee laughed.

''Fuck off,'' Gabrielle said before she went to the couch to turn the TV on.

They both went to join her, Lee bringing her a bottle of water. She found an old James Bond movie and turn up the volume.

''Hey! Where's everybody?'' Gunnar asked in a loud voice, and Gabrielle massaged her temples.

''Somewhere you'll never see if you keep being that loud,'' Gabrielle answered, and Lee shook his head while Tool laughed.

The confused look on Gunnar's face changed to an amused one when he smelled the alcohol and saw the bottle of water. He took a chair and joined them, looking at her from time to time.

''Oh, come on it's not that complicated! You love him, you stupid fuck, just take him!'' Gabrielle exclaimed at the TV, and Lee felt the pain come back.

''Sometime it is,'' he whispered, and Gabrielle paused the movie before turning to him.

''Are you ok?'' she asked, and when he said nothing, she insisted. "Lee?''

''Lacy didn't take it as well as you,'' Lee said, and Gabrielle took his hand. ''She just likes the idea of a bad guy.''

''I am sorry Lee.'' She said and he looked at her. ''But you deserve better than being with someone who can't accept all of you. Besides, you're not the bad one. You save people, and it counts you know?''

Lee didn't know what to tell her, but he was touched by her words. She got up from the couch and went to the freezer to get some drumsticks.

''Here, let's eat our emotions while watching a classic. You'll feel better,'' she said and started the movie again.

[Barney]

He'd gone to the hangar to get some work done. He noticed that there were tracks going around it, and he frowned. He went behind the building and saw his tank in the mud behind the landing strip.

''What the fuck?'' he asked before he walked towards it.

He then saw Hale's flask in it and got back to his bike to go to Tool's.

[Gabrielle]

''She doesn't look convinced,'' Tool stated with an amused smile.

It was difficult to believe that someone could fall three levels down and keep running.

''That's because Christmas likes to think that he's a hero,'' Gunnar mocked while Lee stared at him.

''It's all about physics…'' Christmas started before he stopped himself.

Gunnar looked all too pleased with Lee's explanation.

''You want me to verify that?'' Gunnar offered sarcastically.

Part of me knew that Gunnar was intelligent, but that made me realize that I didn't know him that well. Of course, I was beginning to get to really know them, especially Barney, Tool, Hale and Toll, but Lee and Gunnar were still two mysteries.

''You can?'' I asked, and Gunnar looked at me.

He then smiled at me and began to explain how he'd been to MIT and why he got out. I began to ask questions, and he answered them in length, talking to me about parts of his past and hobbies.

The more he talked, the more I could see his personality, his values, his opinions…I was fascinated… I was… Oh. Oh no.

''Gabrielle?'' he asked, and I felt myself blush when I realized that he'd asked me a question.

I saw Lee looking at me in a weird way. I then heard my dad's bike and almost sighed, relieved to have a distraction. I turned to him and saw Hale's flask in his hand.

Oh shit.

I turned pale and could see the questioning looks on Tool, Lee and Gunnar's faces.

''Hey, Dad! I missed you…'' I tried, but he just stared at me before he put the flask on the table.

I saw the amused looks on the guys' faces. There would be no help from them.

''Would you mind telling me why my tank is stuck in the mud _canon first_ behind the hangar?'' Barney asked, looking pissed off.

There was a silence, and then Gunnar started to laugh hysterically.

I took my phone and called Toll, not taking my eyes off my father for one second.

''Yeah?'' Toll answered.

''You were right, it was a bad idea. Run before he gets to you!" I warned.

I could see Christmas and Tool barely containing their laughter as well, and Barney seemed to calm down. He then took my phone and put it on speaker.

''I take it you guys know what you have to do today," Barney said.

''Yeah, we got it,'' Toll agreed.

''You better,'' Barney threatened before he hung up. ''Gabrielle…''

''Yeah, I'll be in my room,'' I said before I got up and left to go to Barney's house.

[Lee & Gabrielle]

A silence followed after Gabrielle's exit. Tool and Barney went upstairs, and Gunnar left, leaving Lee alone in the shop. He thought about Gabrielle blushing and her almost scared look. He got up and went to Barney's place. He didn't know why, but something was bothering him. As soon as he opened the door, he heard her scream and rushed to her.

''It's ok, it was an accident,'' she explained, and he saw that she was trying to make diner.

He got the kit and took a band-aid to give to her.

''I dream of a day when you won't have to try and heal me,'' she said, and Lee felt concerned.

''I've seen worse,'' he said, and she looked at him with a sad smile.

He then proceeded to take her knife and motioned for her to sit down. She watched him cut the meat and vegetables with such precision that she had to wonder…His tattoo caught her attention and she remembered him playing with his knife.

''It's easier to answer a question when it's asked,'' Lee said, reading her mind, and she felt her cheeks burning.

''Why the knives?'' she asked, and Lee put the food in the oven before he took a seat beside her.

''Knives are a bit like a part of me,'' he explained while he got his emergency one out. ''I can rely on them, because I am the one controlling them. They can only fail me if I fail them.''

''What happened?'' Gabrielle asked, and Lee barely hid his surprise. ''I am sorry, I shouldn't have…''

Gabrielle really was intelligent. He almost didn't answer her, but there was something in the way she looked at him that made him trust her.

''It was a bad day. We were outnumbered and had a hostage to rescue. My partner didn't have any ammo left, and I wanted to cover his back but…A default. A malfunction. Both of them dead without me being able to do anything but watch,'' Lee said, remembering that day way too well.

He got up to check on the food when Gabrielle spoke.

''I couldn't be sick,'' she said, and Lee turned to her with a surprised look on his face. ''In my family, emotions and sickness were for the weak. It was bad for the image, you see. You couldn't talk, and you had to follow the rules of the good society. But they didn't include honesty and authenticity, so I couldn't trust anyone. It felt lonely, and it left me with the feeling that I always was out of place and weak. A freak of nature, if you will.''

Lee felt angry at her confession. He could see how hard it had been to talk to him and the pain in her eyes as she recalled her memories. But she'd done this for him to help him not feel too vulnerable. He could appreciate that. He then recalled her being embarrassed in front of Gunnar and frowned.

''You not being able to feel, is that why you looked like you were ready to run from Gunnar?'' he asked, and as soon as he did, he could see her feelings written all over her face.

''Please don't tell him, or Barney I…Shit, I am not ready to face this,'' she begged him, and Lee froze.

The way she looked at the door, the fear, the confusion, the guilt, the embarrassment…

''You love him,'' he stated.

''I…I think so yes,'' she admitted, and before he knew it (or even why), the words were out of his mouth.

''You could do better,'' he said.

''Thank you for your time, Christmas,'' she said with a cold voice.

He got out of the house, wondering what the fuck was wrong with him.


	12. Chapter ten

_Hello again!_

_It is going to be the last one published today, but the other chapters should be coming soon. _

_A big thank you to my beta FictionWriter91 for all of your hard work. _

_And a another big thank you to all of my readers. If y'all have any question/suggestion, feel free to leave a review or to pm me. _

_Enjoy your reading!_

_Pavs. _

* * *

_**Chapter Ten: Little Do You Know**_

* * *

[Barney]

As much as he didn't like her spending that much time with Gunnar in the last few days, he had taken it as an opportunity to plan Gabrielle's birthday without her knowing. At least she'd spent some sober time with Hale and Toll too, not to mention her taking care of Tool as if she was his mother.

Tool hadn't complained yet, anyway. The man had a special surprise for her, and Barney knew it would mean a lot to her. He'd gone out of his way himself. It was her first birthday with them, and he wanted it to be perfect. He smiled, thinking that he might have become a bit sentimental as well.

[Tool's]

''I hope she'll like it! It did take me a while to find the perfect cake,'' Hale said, and Yang laughed.

''Yeah, poor Caesar, forced to taste everything,'' Yin Yang mocked, and Toll smiled.

''You should have seen him, a real torture session,'' Road added, and Hale rolled his eyes.

Barney arrived at Tool's, and they looked at him.

''She's not with you?'' Tool asked, and Barney went to take a beer from the fridge.

Tool sighed. She probably was with Gunn…. He frowned. Gunnar had just come in alone. He looked at Barney, who seemed just as confused as him.

[Gabrielle]

I'd been shopping for hours now without finding anything. Barney had insisted on a birthday dinner, and I thought it was a good idea to make an effort to look better than usual. He'd kindly dropped me off at the mall. I hadn't counted on my scars when I decided to go for a dress, but it'd been a while since I had anything to celebrate, and a real family dinner was something I looked forward to.

I bought a short gold silk dress with black lace details over the silk. It was long sleeved so it would hide my arms and just long enough to cover my thighs. I bought black heels to go with it, and when I saw that it was almost five o'clock, I decided to change and find a place to do my hair and makeup as well.

It was almost six when I got to a jewelry shop in the mall. I was looking at a gold chain with a moon charm on it. I did have the money, but I somehow hesitated since I rarely made this kind of purchase.

''It would look nice on you,'' a voice said behind me, and I turned to face Lee.

I offered him a shy smile, and he returned it before he went to the counter to talk to the sales lady.

[Lee]

He'd been looking for a small gift for Gabrielle. He wanted it to be both an apology and a thank-you gift for listening to him, a peace offering if you would. He was about to give up when he saw her.

She looked beautiful, even he couldn't ignore it. He got closer and saw her look at a necklace. It would be perfect. He complimented her and the look she gave him stirred something inside of him, which he ignored unconsciously for his own sake.

He bought the necklace and turned to her to give her the box.

'' You didn't have to…'' she began, and he smiled.

''Happy birthday,'' he interrupted her, and she sighed, her smile slowly getting bigger and more sincere.

'' In that case would you mind?'' she asked while she turned her back to him.

He opened the box to take the necklace and got closer to help her put it on.

She looked at it in the mirror and turned back to him.

''So, unless you got something else to buy or you decided not to come to my birthday, shall we?'' she asked, and he offered her his arm.

[Gabrielle]

Trying to hide my ass on Christmas's bike was one of the most ridiculously difficult things I had to do. It was a good thing that I had let my hair loose too because the helmet was nowhere near fashion friendly. It made me laugh at all those scenes in action movies when the girl removes the helmet looking like a top model.

We got to Tool's, and I managed to get of the bike. Lee took my things and the helmet and we went inside.

[Tool's]

They heard Lee coming in with his bike before he turned off the engine. Barney was about to go and ask him if he'd seen Gabrielle when he heard her laugh.

''Your bike is not passenger friendly!'' she laughed, and they heard Lee's soft laughter in return.

''You're the one wearing a dress,'' Christmas stated while they were approaching them.

Gabrielle slapped his shoulder, and Lee's smile grew bigger before he saw the guys looking at them with a puzzled look on their face.

''Well this smells amazing,'' Gabrielle said, not noticing the tension.

''I know right?'' Hale asked, clearly pleased with himself.

Toll rolled his eyes, and Tool shook his head. Some things never changed.

'' That's a great looking necklace,'' Gunnar said, and Gabrielle smiled.

''Thank you,'' she said before looking briefly at Lee. '' It was a gift.''

Gunnar stared at Lee, and she started to feel uncomfortable. Barney noticed and got closer to hug her.

''Happy birthday. You look stunning,'' he said.

''Thank you, I hope it's not too much,'' she replied, and he smiled.

''It's perfect. Come, the food's gonna get cold,'' Barney said, and she went to sit with them.

They ate in silence. The food was amazing after all. She felt like she was about to explode by the time the cake made its way on the table. Hale started to sing Happy Birthday, and Toll laughed, saying it was like karaoke night all over again.

[Gabrielle]

''All right, speaking of good memories, it's time for our gifts!'' Hale exclaimed, and both he and Toll looked at me with a mischievous smile.

They gave me two package each with numbers on them. I took the ones that had 1 written on them and opened them. The one from Hale was a flask, and Toll's was a tank toy. I started laughing and flipped them off.

''Awe come on you know you love us!'' Hale cried, shaking with laughter.

''It was epic,'' Toll said with a wicked smile. ''Worth the trouble that came after.''

We all looked at Barney, who couldn't hide the fact that it was indeed hilarious. I then opened the second ones. Hale had gotten me an old expensive Whiskey bottle, and Toll had somehow found an old intact copy of Sherlock Holmes. I got up and hugged them both.

''Thank you so much,'' I said, and they smiled at me.

Gunnar then cleared his throat, and I turned to face him. He gave me a package, and I opened it to reveal a camera. It was already charged and ready to take pictures.

''I know you don't have a lot of memories here, so I though you would like to make some,'' Gunnar explained, and my vision became blurry with tears.

''Thank you,'' I said, my voice almost shaking.

I then got closer to him and took a selfie of us both. He was still looking at me, but when I looked at the picture it took my breath away. My smile was sincere and his eyes...I started hoping that maybe I wasn't the only one who felt something.

Lee got up and my attention turned to him. He got closer, kissed me on the cheek and offered me a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

''I have to go, love, but I hope you'll have a happy birthday,'' he said, and I put a hand on his arm to stop him.

''Can I have a picture before you go?'' I asked while getting up, and he took the camera, passed an arm around my waist and kissed me on top of my head. I closed my eyes by reflex and heard the flash going off.

''Take care,'' he said before he gave me the camera back and got to his bike.

[Tool's]

No one missed the look of anger on Gunnar's face. Tool kept looking at the door and frowned. He hadn't seen that coming and knew that he needed to have a chat with both Gabrielle and Christmas.

''I feel like I should talk to him…'' Gabrielle tried, and Yang cut her off.

''Not now, open,'' he said, and Gabrielle looked at the present in his hand with questions in her eyes.

She proceeded to open it and saw a gold bracelet. Yang took it and put it on her wrist. Gabrielle looked at it and smiled. It was a beautiful Chinese golden dragon with a diamond in its mouth.

''It's got a chip that will help us find you in case of an emergency. If you break the gold and get the diamond out, it will send us an alert with your last known position,'' Yang explained.

''So, no more wandering at night?'' she asked, and Gunnar smiled.

Hale winked at her, and she laughed. Tool got up to get something from his table and took a seat beside her, the same one Lee had taken before he left. It was a beautiful painted wooden chest. She could see that the art work on it had Tool's special touch. She opened it and saw everything she needed to learn to make tattoos and the keys to the shop and office. This time she couldn't stop a tear from rolling down her cheek.

''Tool, it's…'' she said before she seemed to be at a loss of words.

''You did tell me you loved to learn and share my passion. I want to teach you everything that I know so when the time comes, I can rely on you to keep this place running. I know it seems fast, but you are family, and I know that it's the right decision. You mean a whole damn lot more to me then what you think. Thank you for being there,'' he said, and she was full on crying by then.

''You are family too. Thank you, Dada,'' she said, and he took her in his arms.

Barney had taken the camera to record them and felt his hands shaking a bit. This, this was everything. Tool had never had a family except his friends, and they'd lost a lot of them. Gabrielle had found a home with them.

Tool let her go eventually and Barney put down the camera. He could see that Hale, Yang, Gunnar and Toll were just as moved as him. He got up and got his present, anticipating her reaction to it.

''I um, got two of them. This is the first one,'' he said as he gave it to her.

He'd thought long and hard before getting it for her, but he did want Gabrielle to feel safe. She got rid of the wrapping paper and opened the small metal box to reveal a small handgun with bullets. She looked at him dead in the eyes while carefully putting it back on the table.

''I'll show you how to use it. I…I kinda need the one in your room in the office in case there's a …I mean better safe than sorry…'' Barney tried to explain, and Gabrielle took it in her hand.

It was still empty, but it felt way heavier than it really was. But he was offering her a way to defend herself. She did appreciate that.

''Thank you, I mean it,'' she finally told him while still looking at it.

It had her initials on the canon and delicate flowers on the handle. Gunnar looked at her and felt like he was about to be sick. Gabrielle was too pure for that. This was wrong on so many levels. He cleared his throat, and they all looked at him.

''So, what about this last gift?'' he asked, and Barney smiled.

''We're going to have to go out for that,'' he said, and they followed him to the outdoor garage in the backyard.

Barney looked at his daughter and raised an eyebrow.

''So, I hear you loved motorcycles?'' he asked before he opened the garage door.

''Holy mother of fuck!'' Gabrielle exclaimed as she saw the beautiful black costumed bike with the Expendables sign on it.

She ran to give him a hug, thanking him non-stop, and he laughed.

''Welcome home Gabrielle,'' Barney said, and she felt like she might have finally found her peace.


	13. Chapter eleven

_Hello everybody!_

_I am back. _

_I wanted to thank you all for taking your time to read this fiction. I know that I put a lot of effort on the relationship side of the story, but I felt like it was important to establish the __characters for the rest of the fiction to make sense. In short, I didn't want to rush things. _

_But fear not! The action is coming soon. _

_And that also means, that I highly recommend, for those of you who haven't read it or if you don't remember it, that you go back and read the warnings in the Author's note. (Right before the prologue). _

_The story was rated M for reasons that will be more and more obvious from now on. I will, however, put specific warnings for each chapter that may need it, like this:_

_(Rated M for nudity) _

_(Which does apply to this one)_

_Enjoy your reading!_

_Pavs._

* * *

**_Chapter Eleven: But Can I Trust You?_**

* * *

[Gabrielle]

I was walking towards a small grocery store to get something to drink. I hadn't seen Lee since my birthday party two days ago, and it kind of bothered me. Tool had a lady friend over; Yang had gone to do God knows what, and Hale and Toll were working at the hangar with my Dad. As for Gunnar, well…it was more my fault than his if we hadn't talk much.

I could still remember his questioning eyes whenever I refused to look at him. But if I did, I'd get lost in his eyes all over again and I couldn't do that to myself. It was hard for me to get attached, but once I did, it was even harder to let go, and Gunnar meant a lot to me. I didn't want to get hurt by him not loving me in return. I didn't want things to get awkward between us. This was too fast, it was…

I saw him in front of the fridge at the back of the store, and I froze.

[Gunnar]

He was tired of listening to Tool and his girl, so he went out to grab something to eat. He was just about to get something to drink when he felt like someone was watching him. He turned around and saw Gabrielle looking at him with a surprised, then worried, look on her face.

He was still wondering what had possessed him to react that badly to Christmas. He had put Gabrielle's reaction on her realizing that he was attracted to her. But looking at her now, he could see the blush on her cheeks, her trying to hide the fact that she was looking him over, and he just got that much closer.

Maybe he'd misread her reaction, maybe…

[Gabrielle]

My heart skipped a beat when I realized that he was getting closer. I felt myself getting closer as well, like I had no control over my body at all. I tried to talk, but no sound came out of my mouth.

[Gunnar]

He followed his instincts and held her. She tensed at first, then he felt her relax in his arms. He kissed the top of her head, letting himself getting lost in her perfume. He then started singing a song that he learned as a child.

[Gabrielle]

I felt like the whole world had vanished and there was only us left. I could hear his voice and felt much calmer than I did earlier. I missed him. I missed him so much. How did he do that in such a short time? I didn't know. I didn't want to know. I just wanted to feel him, to hear his voice, to see his eyes.

I looked at him without letting him go, and he stopped singing. Before I knew it, I could feel his lips on mine, and I was in heaven.

[Hale & Toll]

They'd just came back from the hangar when they heard Tool and his friend. Well, no wonder Gunnar was nowhere to be seen. They decided to go grab some lunch and ended up at the grocery store. Hale went for the food and Toll went for the beer. He took a pack and was about to go and join Hale when he saw Gunnar kissing Gabrielle passionately against the fridge.

He hadn't saw that coming. Well, not today at least. He was about to let them know that they were in fact in a public space when he heard Hale behind him.

''Well, how do we explain_ that_ to Barney?'' Caesar asked, and he dropped his pack in surprised.

Gunnar and Gabrielle stopped and took a step apart, looking guilty as hell.

''Oh please, don't stop for us. We wouldn't want to interrupt you,'' Hale mocked, and Gabrielle blushed.

Toll laughed, and Gunnar smiled. Gabrielle looked at Jensen's satisfied expression and slapped him on the arm.

''Well, it looks like you finally got someone to keep you in check,'' Hale said to Gunnar, and it was Gabrielle's turn to smile.

''Damn right I will,'' she nodded, and Gunnar looked at her with a wicked smile.

''So, you're going to punish me?'' he asked with a low voice that made her shiver.

''I…. um...'' she tried, and Gunnar's smile grew bigger. ''Fuck you''

''You will,'' Gunnar agreed, and Gabrielle shut her mouth.

''Well, we better get out of here while the beer is still cold,'' Hale suggested, and Toll followed.

They didn't need any more details, and Gunnar was so far from the subtle type of guy that it was a wonder he'd survived this long in their line of work. Gabrielle took her stuff and followed after them with Gunnar walking right behind her.

Hale let her pay first and waited for her to be outside before he and Toll turned to Gunnar.

''I'll say this only once Jensen: Barney won't be the only one after you if you hurt her, hear me?'' Hale warned, and Gunnar knew he was being dead serious, so he nodded.

''Good, because you may be our friend, but that is a shared feeling alright?'' Toll added, and Gunnar looked at him straight in the eyes.

''If I ever hurt her, I'll let you hurt me,'' Jensen promised, and they all knew they had an understanding.

[Tool's]

Hale and Toll were drinking in silence since Lee and Barney had made their entrance. They felt like Gabrielle wouldn't appreciate them not waiting for her to talk to her father.

''You are both are way too quiet. What's happening?'' Tool asked once he joined the others in the tattoo parlor.

His lady of the moment had gone somewhere else, and he hadn't felt like being alone.

''It's nothing,'' Hale denied, and Barney frowned.

Now he was sure that something had happened.

''Nothing that is our business to talk about anyway,'' Toll specified.

''All right then,'' Barney conceded, still suspicious. ''Did you hear anything about Gunnar? He isn't answering his phone, and we still got work to do.''

The look on both Hale and Toll's faces alerted him that it was indeed Jensen's business. The fact that Gabrielle was probably with him didn't comfort him at all.

''Did that fucker use again?'' Lee demanded, fearing for Gabrielle if he did.

''No, of course not!'' Hale replied, sincere.

''Then what is wrong with you both? Did he hurt her?'' Christmas pushed, and Toll had had enough.

''No. He wouldn't do that. He promised it to us and you know him better than that.'' Road insisted.

''Why would he promise that to you?'' Tool asked, curious.

''Because they saw us kissing,'' Gabrielle interrupted, making them turn to look at her. ''So, they gave him the talk.''

Nobody had heard her coming in with Gunnar. Barney looked at Gunnar like he was about to kill him while Lee's expression was unreadable. Tool was smiling though, which was comforting to Gabrielle.

''I am sorry to tell you this way, but I want to be honest with you,'' she told her father, and he looked at her.

''Let's go home, we need to talk,'' Barney said, and Gabrielle looked confused.

''Look, Dad, I am…'' she tried.

''Now!'' Barney ordered, and she felt like she was about to cry.

Gabrielle noticed that Gunnar was about to say something and put a hand on his arm. He looked at her and stopped himself. She then followed her dad outside, not noticing the more than worried look on Gunnar's face.

[Barney's]

He didn't say a word until they were home. Part of him was feeling guilty when he saw Gabrielle on the verge of having a break down, but he was pissed off. He closed the door behind them, and Gabrielle turned to look at him.

''Look, I get that he is your friend and I am sorry about that, but why are you all acting like he's dangerous?'' Gabrielle asked, and Barney felt his anger fade a bit.

She was so innocent. He sighed.

''Gunnar has had some serious problems in the past, Gabrielle, enough so that we can't ignore them,'' Barney explained.

''It can't be that bad…'' Gabrielle tried.

''He is…was unstable. For fuck's sake we are mercenaries! I am experienced, Gabrielle, don't get me wrong, and even I wouldn't want to go after Gunnar if he was in a good mood, let alone a bad one,'' Barney admitted, fear replacing his anger.

''He won't hurt me,'' Gabrielle insisted, stubborn. ''I just know it. He doesn't…he doesn't hurt children nor women now does he?''

''No,'' Barney shook his head, ''but we can't know for sure that his past really is behind him.''

''I refuse to think that he's a bad man,'' Gabrielle said, and Barney felt his patience running out.

''He almost killed Yang and betrayed us for meth!'' Barney exclaimed, and Gabrielle looked like she'd been slapped in the face.

''Is that how you talk about your friends after you 'helped' them?'' Gabrielle asked, and Barney felt himself at a loss of words.

He knew he'd gone too far the moment he said it. But still, it had hurt to see Gunnar throw his life away. He just wanted to protect her.

''I can't believe that I am the one saying this, but maybe you should try and trust him again. He isn't the same as he was on drugs. I…I know it,'' she said, and Barney looked at her like he'd never seen her before. ''I think I'll go now. I'll call you when I am ready to talk. If you still want me around after knowing this, that is…''

She walked out, and he didn't look at the door until he heard her driving away in her car.

[Gunnar]

Gunnar was looking at the ceiling, thinking about his day. Tool had congratulated him on not being blind anymore, and Hale and Toll had laughed at that. Christmas had gone into his room without saying anything. Gunnar couldn't care less though. He could still feel her lips against his, her hand in his as they walked and her smile…

He heard someone knocking, and he sat up while a very emotional Gabrielle entered his room, locking the door behind her. He was about to ask her what was happening when she sat on his lap and kissed him. He responded to her with passion for a moment until he felt her tears.

''Gabrielle, wait,'' he said softly, and she looked at him.

He helped her undress and gave her a shirt before they lay together in his bed. He took her in his arms as she faced him, and she caressed his cheek with the tip of her fingers.

''What happened?'' Gunnar asked, and Gabrielle hesitated.

''My father he…he told me you were unstable. He told me about…Yang, the betrayal and the meth,'' Gabrielle answered, and she could see the fear and hurt in his eyes.

''What did you think about it?'' he whispered.

''That we aren't ourselves on drugs,'' she said, and Gunnar couldn't hide his shock. ''And that he ought to understand that people can change. I think…. I know that you aren't perfect but I…I love you Gunnar, and you might just be perfect for me.''

He felt like his heart was going to explode. She loved him. He kissed her again, this time softly, lovingly. He caressed her, he loved her and he wanted to show her. The fact that she allowed him to, that she returned his affection. Her soft moans, his name on her lips, the bliss that came with their love making.

He was in heaven.


	14. Chapter twelve

_Hello everybody!_

_Here's chapter twelve!_

_Enjoy your reading! _

_Pavs._

* * *

**_Chapter Twelve: Will You Be There to Catch Me When I Fall?_**

* * *

[Tool's]

Tool was finishing his coffee with a smile on his lips. He then heard the elevator and saw Gabrielle soon after. His smile grew bigger.

''You know, next time you can tell Gunnar to close his window,'' he said, and Gabrielle blushed. ''At least it was nice from what I heard…''

''TOOL!'' Gabrielle said loudly as the blood drained from her face.

Tool laughed and motioned for her to join him at his work table.

''At least she ain't saying 'Gunnar' now,'' Toll commented while he came out of the office.

Gabrielle threw a pencil at him, and both the men laughed.

''So, now that I got the message about me being loud. I actually came to ask you something,'' Gabrielle said to Tool.

''And what can I do for you darling?'' the man replied.

''What you do best, a tattoo,'' she said, and Toll looked at her, his interest piqued.

''Do you know what you want?'' Tool asked.

''No, but I trust you to…I want to hide my scars on my thighs, and I know that I won't want to…I'll want it to stay intact so, you know?'' she explained, and Tool felt his heart melt.

''I'll help you sweetheart. Don't worry about that,'' Tool promised before he added with enthusiasm. ''So, I get to do what I want?''

''Of course. You're very talented after all,'' she said, and Toll shook his head.

''Wow, he'll never shut up about it after that,'' he said before he smiled at Gabrielle. ''I am glad you asked for help you know.''

''Thank you, both of you,'' She said, and Toll nodded.

As for Tool, he began his work.

.

''So, we're done with the outlines. Let's take a break before I get started on the colors,'' Tool said after about two and a half hours of work.

''It looks great,'' Barney said, and they both turned to look at him. ''Look Gabrielle I…I thought about it. Hell, I haven't slept. I spent enough time away from you, I want to get to know you, and I don't want you to be scared to talk to me.''

''I love him,'' Gabrielle answered with a shaking voice, surprising both Tool and Toll with her blunt statement.

They knew she liked Gunnar, but love was another matter.

''I can see that,'' Barney noted, trying his best not to protest. '' And I might not like it, but I want you to be happy. I love you too, no matter what will happen or what you've been through.''

Gabrielle got up and hugged him.

''Thank you,'' she said, and Barney sighed.

''You don't have to thank me, my love for you isn't conditional,'' Barney promised, and Gabrielle couldn't stop the sobs.

She hadn't seen them coming either. It was like his words had made her aware of some of her deepest scars. It was painful to think about it again, and she felt her father holding her tighter against him.

''I love you, Dad,'' she managed to say. ''And it ain't conditional for me either.''

Barney understood her reaction a little too well, and so he kept holding her until she was ready to let go. He then wiped the tears off her eyes, and Gabrielle went back to Tool's tattoo bike.

''So, you're ready for part two?'' Tool asked with a soft voice, and she nodded.

''Impress me,'' she shot back at him with a smile, and Toll laughed.

Barney looked at her smile and let himself relax a little. He might not like her relationship with Gunnar, but he loved her smile.

And he could still shoot the man if need be.

[Gunnar]

He was proud of himself. He looked one last time at the set up in the hangar and got in his truck to go and get Gabrielle, leaving an amused Yang behind him.

.

Gunnar saw Gabrielle looking at her new tattoo in the mirror, and he smiled. She turned to Tool who looked proud as hell of his work. It was beautiful after all, and Jensen hadn't missed the meaning of where she got tattooed.

''Hey Gunnar, you're still alive?'' Toll teased, and then he noticed Barney looking at him with a neutral expression on his face.

Gunnar was about to answer when Gabrielle looked at him and smiled. He loved her smile. He didn't even notice, nor cared, that he looked at her like she was everything in front of everybody. She was his; the rest of the world could fuck off.

[Tool's]

''Wow, she really got him on his knees,'' Toll whispered to Tool, and the artist nodded.

''Hey, how was your day?'' Gabrielle asked while she walked towards Jensen.

Once she got close enough, she kissed him briefly on the lips, and Gunnar put his arms around her.

''Great. I got a surprise for you," he answered.

He could tell that she was dying to know what it was. He let one of his hands wonder towards her ass before he heard Barney's cough. Gabrielle felt the heat rising to her cheeks and let go of him. Tool snickered while Barney tried to look as if Gunnar had done nothing.

''Well, Yang is waiting for us at the hangar. You're all welcome to join us,'' Gunnar said, and Gabrielle offered him a suspicious look.

He wasn't one to seek out attention. She wasn't the only one to notice it, and so they all made their way to the hangar.

[Barney's Hangar]

''You've got to be shitting me,'' Gabrielle said while Yang looked at her with an amused smile.

''I told you she would react this way,'' he commented, and Gabrielle looked at Gunnar like she might actually kill him.

''There are only so many firsts,'' Gunnar justified, and Gabrielle rolled her eyes.

She then went to turn off the camera.

''How about we just live the moment then?'' she said, and Toll, Tool and Barney took a seat.

''Well, she's got your temper.'' Tool said to Barney while Gabrielle decided to ignore Gunnar, and Toll laughed.

''You just noticed?'' Road said while Gabrielle talked to Yang about the basics.

She then got on the bike and managed to start the engine with Yang's help.

''Be careful, the reason she's my old bike is because she's sensitive,'' Yang said, and Gabrielle nodded before she took off.

Way too fast.

She fell off the bike, and Barney ran to her.

''Are you hurt!?'' he asked her, and she sighed.

''Yeah, my ego is fucked,'' Gabrielle replied, and Barney caught himself chuckling.

He helped her back on her feet while Gunnar took care of the bike.

''Scene one, take two,'' she said, and the giant hesitated for one second before he helped her back on the bike.

''Be careful, princess,'' he said, and she smiled at him.

''I got this,'' Yang interrupted before he got on the bike behind Gabrielle. ''This time we will try to go easier.''

Gabrielle restarted the engine and managed to go in a straight line.

''Try and slow down,'' Yang suggested, and Gabrielle panicked.

''How?!'' she asked seconds before she lost control.

They fell off the bike, and Gabrielle felt a sharp pain on her side. She looked on her right and saw Yang struggling to get up. The pain kept her from breathing normally, and one look at herself told her why.

[Yang]

They got up as fast as they could, including Yang. While the man had definitely had seen better days, he knew he would be fine. The same could not be said about Gabrielle. He was about to go and get the medical supplies when Toll saw him.

''Sit the fuck down, Yang, I'll go get this. You might be hurt too,'' Toll ordered, and Yang did so, surprised by his friend's tone.

He hadn't had a good look at the girl, but from Toll's reaction and the way Tool ran to get the truck, it couldn't be a good sign.

Then he saw Gunnar's reaction, and he felt like the apocalypse might just happen in seconds. And that they weren't ready for it.

[Gunnar]

He didn't think he ever ran that fast before, but even then, she'd already lost a lot of blood. He felt his heart miss a beat when he saw just how deep one of the debris had gotten into her belly. Then he did something he never had before.

He froze.

He could see Barney trying to put pressure around the wound to stop the bleeding, he could hear Toll trying to calm both the father and daughter down, he could smell the truck that Tool drove close to them, but he did nothing.

He just couldn't.

He was _terrified_.

[Barney]

Barney was watching Gabrielle sleep while Tool had gone to see if both Yang and Gunnar were ok. He was focusing so much on her breathing that he almost jumped out of his chair when Hale knocked at the door. The man came in and offered him a bag of food.

''I came as fast as I could,'' Caesar said before he looked at her. ''How is she?''

''Stable, for now. There was motor oil in her wound and she reacted badly to it so…It could go either way…'' Barney said with a broken voice.

''She'll be fine,'' Hale assured him while trying to convince himself too. ''She's too stubborn to give up like that.''

''Thanks Hale,'' Barney said, and his friend nodded before he went out.

As the door had been closing behind Caesar, something hit Barney: what the hell did he mean as fast as he could?

[Tool]

He'd looked everywhere after he'd called Hale for help. Gunnar was nowhere to be found. So, he sat with Yang in his hospital room, waiting for the doctor to clear him so they could get out.

''I just came from Gabrielle's room and left Barney some food. Thought you could use some too.'' Hale said while entering.

''How is she?'' Tool asked, and Hale sighed.

''It's looking bad, infected in fact,'' Caesar answered, and Tool got up off his seat.

''I gotta go…just…take care Yang. I'll be back,'' he said, and both Yang and Hale shared a worried look.

[Tool's]

Christmas had just come in his room from a long day of being begged by Lacy to forgive her. Hell, he was about to until she told him that they could arrange things so that he wouldn't have to be a mercenary anymore. He knew right there and then that she would never truly love him. And worse, that he loved his job more than her.

He heard someone coming from the staircase, then Toll's door banging against the wall and frowned. This wasn't normal. He went to ask him what was going on and came face to face with him. He had his shirt put on backward, a vest in his bloody hand and traces of blood on his face.

''What the hell?'' he asked, and Toll put on his vest.

''Gabrielle had a bike accident and Gunnar's missing. She's in the ICU at Parish's, and I am going to find Jensen,'' Toll explained.

Lee felt his heart stop.

''Gabrielle…'' he began before he realized. ''Jensen is missing? Why?''

''Shock,'' Toll answered, and Lee looked at him with incomprehension written on his face.

''Say that again?'' Lee asked while he felt the fear rising in him. ''Just how bad was it for _him_ to be scared?''

He'd said it aloud without noticing it.

Toll didn't know what to say. After all, it _was_ worrying him as well.

[Barney]

Nobody knew just where the hell Gunnar was. That's what he'd been told by text message anyway. Barney was still at the hospital, and Tool hadn't been back since he left Yang. The rest of them, including Yang, who had been given the all clear, were in Tool's tattoo parlor, waiting for him to give them some news.

But there was none, and he kept looking at his daughter like her life depended on it. He didn't even look at the doorway when he heard steps. It probably was the nurse, looking at him with pity in her eyes.

''Is she ok?'' Gunnar asked, his voice so weak and broken that Barney almost didn't understand what he said.

But he did get up from his chair and turned to look at him. His anger faded as soon as he looked Jensen in the eyes. The fear, the vulnerability, the guilt…Barney had never seen him like that, and there wasn't much that he hadn't seen from the guy.

Gunnar kept looking at him for an answer, and Barney was rendered speechless. The blonde then looked at Gabrielle and got closer to her. Barney could see the silent tears rolling down his cheeks, and he felt like something was keeping him from breathing. He needed to vent; this was too much. Even for him, the legendary Barney Ross.

''Can you?'' he managed to ask, and Gunnar nodded.

Barney was out seconds later.

[Tool's]

They hadn't been talking much, even when Tool had come back. It was almost midnight, and there still wasn't any news. Then they heard Barney's truck in the driveway.

Anything they were about to say died on their lips the moment they saw him. He was crying, which was frightening on its own, and looked like he couldn't breathe properly.

''She's not…'' Hale tried to ask as the words faltered.

''She's with Gunnar,'' Barney said, and Lee looked like he was about to kill someone.

But Christmas was just intelligent enough to know that now wasn't the time. He also had a feeling that there was more to it.

''She's still stable. The meds are working, and she should be making progress soon. I…I am taking a shower and then I'll be going back.''

''You still got clothes upstairs,'' Tool said while pointing out Barney's bloody shirt.

The man looked at it and felt numb.

''Barney?'' Christmas asked, deeply concerned.

''She was bleeding,'' he began with an almost automated voice. '' There was so much blood. And the guilt, the fear…it was too much. He was crying you know? I thought she was a phase, I thought he was scared of my reaction after all this mess. I was so mad, and he looked so guilty. I wanted it to be his fault, but it was an accident. It was…she almost…''

''Come here, we're going to wash you up,'' Tool offered when Barney couldn't go on, and Barney followed him without question.

.

They stayed in the parlor long after Tool went back to the hospital with Barney. They stayed so long, in fact, that they finally saw Gunnar in the doorway. He had dark circles under his eyes, and they could tell he'd been crying.

Christmas could now tell why Barney had been so shaken. He'd never seen Jensen looking like that. Hell, that probably was why Ross had finally lost it. The giant let himself fall on the couch and took his head in his hands.

''Gunnar?'' Toll tried with what resembled a soft voice.

''She's uh…she's going to be ok. I…I had to make sure. But she'll be fine,'' he said before looking at them with an almost desperate look on his face. ''She's got to be, right?''

And while they nodded to answer him, they could only hope it was true. But there was something they could be sure of: Gunnar could never, ever let her go.


	15. Chapter thirteen

_Hello everybody!_

_I am so sorry for the lack of updates. I actually had a heart dysfunction and clots over the past weeks, and so I had to take care of my health. _

_But I am back now, hopping that you'll love this chapter. _

_Also...Let the action begin!_

_Enjoy your reading, _

_Pavs. _

* * *

_**Chapter Thirteen: Can't Let You Down**_

* * *

[Plane]

Barney was looking at the sky in front of him, wishing that this job would be a fast and easy one. He wasn't one to believe in miracles, but he could use one right about now. The timing couldn't have been worse. Not only was this their first mission since Gabrielle knew about them, but she was still in the hospital. At least she wasn't in the ICU anymore, and Tool was with her.

He sighed again, just like he always seemed to do these days. He could see Lee getting restless beside him, and he wondered why the man was so pissed at Gunnar. Or maybe it was Lacy. Shit, he was one hell of a friend as of late.

''Are you ok?'' Barney asked, and Lee turned to look at him.

''Do you really want to talk about it now?'' Christmas retorted.

''You're still my friend, aren't you?'' Barney said, and Lee scoffed.

''The only one crazy enough to stay,'' Christmas replied, and Barney couldn't stop his laughter.

A long silence followed, and then Lee looked at the sky.

''She deserves better,'' he said, and Barney couldn't hide his surprise. ''I am not admitting my undying love for her, it's just…I've tried to have a normal life on the side for how long now? Hell, I've tried so bloody hard that I ended up with Lacy. And then Gabrielle walks in, and she's just perfect... the picture of what I tried to have with Lacy, of what I came to think didn't actually existed…''

The more Barney listened to him, the more he realized that Lee did deserve the kind of life he was talking about. He also couldn't help but notice how he'd described Gabrielle as perfect, how he'd always cared, and how he wasn't as comfortable with her as he was with women in general and…

''Oh,'' Barney said, and Lee looked at him.

''Oh?'' he repeated with a questioning look.

''I…uh…never mind,'' Barney said.

''So, you're just going to leave it there?'' Lee asked, tired of Barney's attitude.

''I just didn't think that you were the type to care that much about…Well, she's my daughter you know?'' Barney explained, somewhat at a loss of words.

And from the look on Christmas's face, the man hadn't realized he'd cared that much either.

''So much for minding my own business,'' Barney thought.

''You know, I would have preferred you,'' Barney said out loud in an awkward joke.

''You would have killed me with my own knives,'' Lee said with a small smile, and Barney laughed.

''Yeah, you're damn right about that,'' Barney agreed, and they both laughed.

[Parish Hospital]

''You look like shit,'' Gabrielle commented, making Tool smile for the first time in a week.

She then started coughing, and he brought her some water.

''Maybe, but you look worst,'' Tool joked back before he took her hand. ''You really scared us, love.''

''Didn't mean to. I am sorry,'' she said before she looked around her.

''They went on a mission a week ago, which means it took you about two weeks to wake up. They should be back soon, and you can trust me when I say that they would have been here if they could've,'' Tool explained.

''There might be a problem with that,'' said another voice that Gabrielle didn't recognize.

They both looked at the doorway, and while Gabrielle was intrigued, Tool was very worried.

''What's up Trench?'' he asked, and the man ignored him.

''You must be Gabrielle?'' he asked, and then he offered her a small smile. ''I am Trench Mauser. I am sorry for the harsh wake up call, but we got to go.''

He then turned to Tool.

''Church called. The job was a trap, and some nut job decided to make Barney talk by using her,'' he added, and they heard Gabrielle's heart monitor beeping faster.

''Are they ok?'' she asked, and Tool didn't miss the surprised look on Mauser's face.

''They will be. For now, we got to get you out. I got everything I need to take care of you. Let's roll,'' Trench ordered, and Tool helped Gabrielle into her clothes and on a wheelchair.

They got to the parking, and Trench helped Gabrielle in his truck. He was about to close the door when she called after Tool.

''Wait!'' she exclaimed, feeling tears rolling down her cheeks.

Tool got closer to her, and she hugged him.

''Please be careful…I can't…I…I just can't…'' she tried to say, and Tool sighed.

''I know love. Don't worry. We'll see each other soon,'' he promised before he closed her door.

He then talked a bit more with Trench before he walked to his own truck.

[Trench's Hangar]

It had been three more long days of being in bed with meds before Gabrielle could finally get up and take a shower. It had been so long since she'd last walked that her legs almost gave out on her, but she didn't want to ask Trench. He'd already given up his own spare room in his hangar and was sleeping in the office downstairs close to the main garage.

Gabrielle made sure to cover her wound and went in the bathroom. As soon as she felt the hot water on her skin she sighed. It had been way too long. She then got out and got dressed in what she suspected was Yang's training clothes. She felt the tears coming back. It had been too dangerous to go and get her things, and Tool had been left in his shop alone.

She walked out of the bathroom and took the stairs to see if there was something to eat in the small kitchen beside Trench office. She noticed a can of tomato soup and decided that it would do. She even found bread and cheese to go with it and noticed that there was enough for two.

''You didn't have to do this,'' Trench said while she heated up the soup on the stove.

''Well, I guess it's the least I can do,'' Gabrielle answered, and Trench went to sit at the table.

She followed him with two full bowls soon after.

''Thank you,'' Gabrielle added while he started eating.

''Don't worry about it. Plus, your father owes me now,'' Trench said, visibly happy with that notion, and Gabrielle smiled a little.

''So…what's wrong with your plane?'' she asked.

''Want me to show you?'' he offered, and Gabrielle's smile grew bigger.

.

It wasn't until the next day that she actually got to see Tool. He came in with Gabrielle's training clothes and her art material. The man had just put her things on Trench's desk when she walked to Tool.

''Thank God you're ok!'' Gabrielle exclaimed while giving him the biggest hug she could.

Tool hugged her back and smiled.

''Of course I am sweetheart. I even brought you something to pass the time,'' Tool answered as Trench entered the office.

''I see that you finally converted someone to your little hobby,'' Mauser said with an amused smile. ''Did he convince you that it was art?''

''It is art,'' Gabrielle retorted. ''Just because you can't do it doesn't mean you should mock those who can.''

Tool laughed out loud, and Trench raised an eyebrow, though Gabrielle could tell that he thought she was funny.

''I won't try and fight you both on this, especially this one. I've worked with him long enough to know better,'' Trench replied.

''Wait, you two worked together?'' Gabrielle asked, and Trench lit up a cigar while Tool was offering her a seat.

''Gabrielle, let me tell you about my time with the Expendables,'' Trench started and she made herself comfortable.

This ought to be good.

.

Weeks had passed and they still didn't have any news on the team. Gabrielle had managed to talk to Tool on the phone a couple of times, and he could tell that the situation was seriously getting to her. He had tried to joke that she could just tell him if Trench was being annoying, and Trench had taken another line to tell him to go fuck himself, which had made Gabrielle laugh for the first time in a while.

She had also started to work for him. He'd teach her everything there was to know about mechanics and manual work on his plane, his truck, the hangar and even had taken upon himself to show her how to shoot a gun. Barney would be pissed that he wasn't the one to do it first, but it was better that than having the girl not be able to defend herself. And she was good at it to, making Trench think that she might have somehow get that from her father, not that he would ever admit it to Ross.

If he came back. It was starting to worry him too, if he was being honest.

.

Gabrielle was about to go and see what Trench was up to downstairs when she heard tires screeching and shotguns. She ran to her bedside table to take an emergency pistol and went to take the emergency stairs, only to find a man waiting for her outside. She then changed direction to take the main stairs and tried to calm herself while she ran to the first floor.

She hid behind Trench's desk and waited. She heard another truck coming and felt like crying. She was shaking, and she was terrified. How the hell could they do this? How the hell could they want to do this? She thought about her dad, Gunnar, Lee, Toll, Hale, Yang…they were out there. They had chosen this job. She didn't know how or why they did, but they did, and they wouldn't be scared. They would have known what to do. She took a deep breath, got up, and hoped for the best while slowly trying to get to Trench.

.

Tool had been shot to the arm. Again. But this time, it wasn't as bad and he knew it. They shot another man and it was suddenly very silent. Trench walked to Tool to make sure he was ok. Once Tool reassured him, he took his phone and was about to call when he saw Tool's expression change.

He didn't have any more ammo; Tool had no weapon in his hands. They heard eight shots, but felt none of them. Trench turned around and saw two men fall to the ground. Gabrielle was behind them, holding Trench's gun. She was shaking and getting paler by the second. She dropped the gun, taking a step back as if it would attack her. She looked at the two dead men, then at her own hands before her legs gave out.

They had almost reached her when she started to throw up.

Trench held her hair while Tool tried to tell her that everything was going to be ok.

''I couldn't let them…I couldn't…I did this...but I couldn't let you…but I killed them…''Gabrielle stammered, panicked.

''We have to get her out of here,'' Trench said, and Tool let him take her in his arms.

They went to Tool's truck and left without looking behind.


	16. Chapter fourteen

_Hello again!_

_Here's another one. _

_Enjoy your reading!_

_Pavs. _

* * *

_**Chapter Fourteen: Broken**_

* * *

[Plane]

Church had been able to get them and had somehow saved good old Santa too. They were tired, they were hurt, and they just couldn't wait to get the fuck home. The men keeping them were now dead, but Barney had the feeling that there was more to it.

And it scared him because he was in no condition to fight. Apart from Toll, Yang and maybe Gunnar, they all were way too malnourished and had taken too many beatings to be as efficient as they could be, even if they had water, meds, and at least five hours of sleep. But they were going home, and that was something at least.

[Tool's]

Gabrielle hadn't stopped shaking all the way to Tool's and had thrown up again in the garage when they arrived.

''Take her upstairs, I'll take care of it,'' Tool said, and Trench nodded.

She followed him to Tool's apartment and ran to the toilet. Trench went to get her a glass of water and some meds to help her nausea. He was worried. He'd seen it before and he knew all too well just how bad it could get. She took the meds and went to change into Tool's clothes, not bothering to hide from him, not that Trench gave a fuck anyway. He just hadn't seen her like this and knew that she was way too much in shock to care about things like that.

No, what made him stop and stare was Tool's phone ringing behind her and Barney's name on the small screen. He didn't answer, he just couldn't. And right there and then, with Gabrielle looking at the phone too, he knew that he wasn't the only one afraid to answer.

''I missed him, but I can't…'' Gabrielle started with a broken voice while she turned to him. ''I can't tell him that I…''

''Of course, you can,'' Trench interrupted without hesitation.. ''Just like you can talk to me. Or Tool, or any of the guys, really.''

''What if he hates me?'' she asked while crying.

''Why on earth would he hate you?'' Tool asked while coming into the apartment.

''Because I killed someone,'' she answered while holding back a sob.

''We did too, and you still love us now don't you?'' Tool questioned, and Gabrielle looked offended.

''Of course, I do!'' she exclaimed. The phone started ringing again, showing Christmas's name.

''Why would it be different for us then?'' Trench asked.

''Because I…because I already…'' Gabrielle tried to say before she let herself fall onto the bed. ''Because I already fucking hate myself, and I don't know how to stop it. And I have no fucking clue as to why you even bothered in the first place. How is it suppose to get better now?! How the fuck does that make me more deserving of living than them?! I should be fucking dead!''

She'd went from a broken voice to a scream ,and Tool felt his heart shatter with every word. Trench tried to reach for her, and he stopped when she looked at him.

''I feel like I should be dead,'' she told him while looking straight into his eyes.

''NO, YOU DON'T!'' Tool exclaimed with an almost desperate tone. ''You don't deserve to be dead, you hear me? You saved us. You fucking saved us even before you knew it. You saved us as soon as Barney received that call to come and find you. And we both fucking love you. We all love you. I made mistakes, Gabrielle, mistakes that I won't make twice by letting you jump off a fucking bridge. You are a part of what makes me good. I will never give up on you, so don't you dare give up on me by hating yourself!''

Gabrielle started sobbing again, and Tool sat on the bed with her. She tried to hug him, and he made them both more comfortable by lying down. She cried until she fell asleep from exhaustion, but Tool stayed wide awake, crying silently.

They heard Trench's cell phone going off, and he took it upon himself to answer.

''Barney, I fucked up,'' were the first word coming out of his mouth.

[Hangar]

''What the hell is taking them so long?!'' Gunnar exclaimed after the third time.

Barney shot him a look that made him stay quiet for a bit. They had caught a man waiting for them, and Church had taken it upon himself to take care of it. Then he had called them back minutes later to tell them that Trench's hangar was a blood bath. Now they were all preparing to go to Tool's to see if they were there.

Barney was about to give up when he decided to call Trench on his cell phone. It rang once, and then he heard someone pick up, so he put his phone on speaker.

''Barney, I fucked up,'' Trench said, making his blood freeze in his veins.

''Is she hurt?'' Gunnar asked, not daring to ask if she was dead.

''No, she has no wounds, but you and Barney should come to Tool's. Something happened.'' Trench explained.

''They got to him?'' Christmas asked.

''No,'' Tool said, but none of them were relieved.

Something was going on.

[Tool's]

They all went to Tool's after they were given the all clear. They all were wearing combat clothes, not having anything else in the hangar. At least now they were clean. The first thing Barney noticed was a bucket of water and soap half emptied on the garage floor.

And it was quiet, way too quiet.

They got upstairs to see Trench waiting for them in the second-floor kitchen. He was covered with blood. Barney looked around him, but he could see or hear neither Tool or Gabrielle.

''They are in Tool's apartment. She's finally asleep from the meds I gave her. She couldn't stop being sick,'' Trench explained with a sad expression that unnerved Barney.

''Why was she sick?'' Barney inquired.

''Was it her wound?'' Toll asked a second later.

''She healed form the accident very well,'' Trench said before he took a deep breath. ''I know this because we thought it was safer if she stayed with me.''

''No,'' Barney whispered while Gunnar felt his heart stop.

''Tool came to help, but we didn't have any ammo left. They kept her from going outside and were about to kill her but…'' Trench faltered as the others started to understand why she was sick. ''They found us instead of her and were about to shoot us. But they didn't…''

Trench could see Barney's expression, and he felt bad for him, but he had to say it.

''She was faster than them, Barns,'' Tool said from the staircase as Trench closed his eyes. ''We're sorry.''

There was a moment of silence, then Gunnar took a chair and sent it flying across the room. Then he screamed.

''FUCKERS! Those mother fuckers broke her!'' he screamed at the top of his lungs.

[Gabrielle]

I woke up from hearing a bang downstairs and jumped out of bed to find myself alone in Tool's apartment. I ran out and was almost on the second floor, in fact, I could see them in the kitchen when I heard Gunnar screaming. I froze.

Broken?

''Is that what I am to you?'' I said out loud without noticing.

''Gabrielle,'' Gunnar said while turning to me.

I could see that he regretted his words, but it hurt. Everything hurt. I turned to Trench.

''You said I could talk to them,'' I said with a broken voice.

I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks.

''Gabrielle,'' Gunnar tried again, but I could barely breathe.

''You said I could trust you,'' I then managed to say to Gunnar. ''Am I only broken to you?''

[Tool's]

Gunnar felt like he'd been slapped in the face. He'd fucked up too, and at the worst time possible. He didn't know what to say because of course he was mad at the fuckers who made her do this. Of course she would never be the same. But no, of fucking course not, she wasn't only broken to him. She was everything to him. And he was about to tell her when he saw something shift in her eyes. He'd taken too much time.

''I'll go back to bed. I am glad you're all ok,'' she said with no emotion whatsoever on her usually very expressive face.

Gunnar went back to his room and slammed the door behind him.


	17. Chapter fifteen

_Hello again!_

_This is the last chapter of part one. The second part shall be posted here, so you don't have to worry about trying to find it. _

_Enjoy your reading, _

_Pavs. _

* * *

_**Chapter Fifteen: What Can I do?**_

* * *

[Gabrielle]

I slept in Tool's bed that night. Well, sleeping was a big word, but at least I wasn't alone. Tool couldn't sleep either, and Barney had stayed for a while. We didn't talk much, just enough for me to try and reassure them that it wasn't their fault. I'd said the same thing to Trench before he'd went back to clean his hangar.

And while I was trying not to think about that. I was thinking about Gunnar. It was about four in the morning (Tool was finally asleep) when I realized how hard I'd been on him, no matter how shaken I was.

I went downstairs and tried to open his door. It was locked. I knocked, no answer. I texted, then called. Still no answers. I let myself fall to the floor, and I started sobbing. I'd lost him. And as bad as it sounded, it felt almost worst than killing those men. I couldn't stop crying, so I sat against his door for what felt like an eternity before I heard steps in the small hallway.

''Gabrielle,'' Christmas said while he covered me with a blanket.

He then sat beside me and passed an arm around me, pulling me closer. No other words spoken. I kept crying for a while until I fell asleep.

[Lee]

He was looking at her sleeping in his bed and swore for the thousandth time under his breath. Where the fuck was Gunnar? How could he do that to her? They all saw how insecure she was earlier, and he thought that Jensen would have been the one to try and comfort her, but he didn't. And he was nowhere to be found. Again.

It angered him. It really did. Gabrielle deserved better than someone who ran when things get difficult. And yet…

''NO!'' Gabrielle screamed suddenly, and he jumped off his chair to try and wake her up. ''I'M SORRY!''

Lee had just managed to take her in his arms to try to reassure her when he saw Toll enter the room.

''Holy shit!'' Toll exclaimed quietly before he tried to help Lee. ''Gabrielle, everything is fine. You are in Christmas's bedroom. We all are ok.''

She finally seemed to calm down, and Lee let out a relieved sigh.

''I am so sorry,'' she said while trying to wipe her tears.

''Don't apologize,'' Lee said softly. ''Do you need anything?''

''I…is Gunnar back?'' she asked, and Toll's expression got darker.

Jensen had fucked up. Again.

''No,'' Toll answered, and the pain in Gabrielle's eyes made him want to remind the Viking what he'd promised. ''Come with me. We'll eat breakfast.''

She got up and followed him to the kitchen. Lee didn't follow. He needed to talk to Barney.

[Barney]

It was almost seven in the morning when his phone rang. He'd gone back to his place and was trying to process everything that had happened. He may have been used to the job, but this one had hit hard. And it was even worse once he'd gotten home.

It's not that he didn't want to be with Gabrielle. Fuck, he was fighting himself not to get over there and bring her back with him. He had even stayed until one in the morning to make sure she was fine, but Trench had told him just how and why Gunnar's reaction might have been triggering, and then the tall blond had disappeared.

He wasn't sure if he was worried or if he wanted to shoot him, to be honest. The phone kept ringing, so he answered.

''What's up Christmas?'' he asked.

''I am about five minutes away with coffee and donuts,'' Lee said, and Barney frowned. ''We need to talk.''

.

The first thing Barney noticed was the dark circles under his friend's eyes. The second was that even though they had sat at the counter with the food, Lee wasn't touching anything.

''I found her crying against Gunnar's door at four in the morning,'' Lee began with a tired voice. ''She was freezing, so I brought her a blanket and waited with her until she fell asleep. Tool probably didn't even notice that she was gone.''

Barney felt a pang of guilt but said nothing as Lee continued.

''He wouldn't have left her alone like that. I couldn't either. She slept in my bed for a while until she woke up from a nightmare. She's with Toll as we speak. I think they're supposed to go to a library or a museum, something like that.''

''Thank you,'' Barney said, and Christmas put a hand on his shoulder.

They both knew how much he meant it.

[Toll and Hale]

He'd noticed that Gabrielle was more and more distant as the day passed. He had decided to bring her to his favorite museum and took care of the talking. He knew what it was like to get stuck in your own head, so even thought she didn't talk (and he wasn't about to force her to do so out of respect), he talked to her about his knowledge of history, literature and art to prevent her from thinking too much about the previous day. He even thought he'd seen her smile when she saw a painting with beautiful colors. It was abstract art, but he had to admit that it was stunning. She had taste. He'd told her as much, and she'd answered him by telling him how much she'd missed him. He'd taken her hand in his, and she hadn't let it go of the rest of their visit.

After that, he drove them to Hale's house, where the man waited for them with Gabrielle's favorite tea and pancakes. She had hugged Hale like her life depended on it, and Hale had hugged her back just as much. They had been eating in silence when some kids that had been playing outside started to mess with firecrackers. Gabrielle jumped out of her chair and grabbed a kitchen knife, looking at the window with a faraway look in her eyes.

''Gabrielle, it's ok. It's just kids,'' Hale assured her with a soft voice, and she dropped the knife before she started to shake uncontrollably.

It was getting worse very fast, and she was struggling to breathe. Hale took her into his arms and told her repeatedly that everything was going to be ok and that she was safe. And he did so until she calmed down.

''I am so sorry. God I am so sorry,'' she said, clearly embarrassed.

But they were having none of it.

''Don't ever apologize for that. It's ok to need help, and we are your friends. We are here for you, just like Trench told you,'' Hale said, and Toll nodded his agreement when Gabrielle looked at him.

''We understand better than you might think,'' Toll added.

''Ok. Thank you,'' she said in an almost whisper.

''Always,'' Toll promised, and she offered them a shy smile.

[Barney]

Barney got up from his chair when he heard Toll and Hale's bikes. He saw his daughter entering the shop seconds later and was about to say something when she ran to hug him. The words he was about to say died on his lips.

''I love you. Please don't die,'' she cried, and his heart shattered.

He looked up to the men she came in with and saw that it must have been a rough day. He'd never been so glad to have friends like them.

''Thank you,'' he mouthed, and they both nodded before they went back to their bikes and left.

.

Gabrielle hadn't spoken much apart from asking him if he was hurt or asking Tool if his arm was ok. She'd went home with him, going directly into her bedroom as soon as he'd open the door. He was worried, but he could do nothing about it except being there for her.

At least she wasn't mad at him, but he wished that she could forgive herself too.

[Lee]

Lee wasn't a man to drink his emotions, but the mission had exhausted him. And Gabrielle, well, that was another matter. He heard the last call and took a cab to Tool's place. He was too drunk to drive and too tired to walk.

He couldn't wait to go to sleep, but froze in his steps when he got to the second floor at Tool's. Gabrielle was asleep in front of Gunnar's door again.

''Gabrielle,'' he whispered with sadness in his voice.

How could he leave her alone like that? She had accepted them, trusted them, loved them…him. It hurt Lee to see her suffer for someone who didn't deserve her. And it made him angry that Gunnar would mess someone as good as her.

''Gabrielle,'' he said a bit louder, and she stirred in her sleep.

''Gunnar?'' she asked, and the hope in her voice hurt Lee just a bit more.

He ignored it; he didn't want to go in that territory. He was jealous of the relationship, not the girl.

''No, it's Christmas,'' he said, and she tried to warm herself with her vest without even opening her eyes.

He took her in his arms and brought her to her room. He was about to let go when she grabbed his hand.

''Please don't leave me alone,'' she pleaded, and he looked at her for a moment before he took off his coat, boots, and knives.

Though he did keep one on the nightstand.

He then lay beside her on the single bed, sighed and closed his eyes. Of course, he would be there for her, but it might cost him his sanity after all.

[Tool's]

Lee saw Tool throw another ball of paper in the trashcan. He sent him a questioning look, and Tool pointed Gabrielle. She was sitting on the couch, looking at a closed TV. Christmas sighed.

It had been days.

She had stopped going to Hale's place or going on walks to the museum with Toll. She didn't talk anymore, to anyone. Barney was about to go mad to the point where he'd ask Trench and Yang to come and visit. Trench hadn't been able to come, and Yang, well. She'd asked if he was ok and that was about it.

But she was waiting for Gunnar every night. Lee ended up bringing her to his or her room to be there when she woke up from a nightmare every time. It was harder and harder to ignore the feeling of falling asleep and waking up with someone, even more so with the way she looked at him when she did wake up and he was there. The gratitude, the relief, the trust.

It made him crave something that he couldn't imagine with her, and he hated Gunnar more and more for abandoning that. And at the same time…

No, he refused to think about it. She was his friend. Worse, she was Barney's daughter. And he liked to think that he had something akin to ethics or values. He went to sit with her, and she looked at him. That was a surprise.

Well, he didn't exactly pass his days with her either. Only the nights.

That sounded good.

''Hey,'' he said, and he swore that he saw the shadow of a smile.

''Hey,'' she answered.

Tool stopped what he was doing to look at them, wondering what was going on. She never answered, and she never looked that comfortable either. He frowned, sure that he was missing something.

''Was there nothing to watch?'' Lee asked, and Gabrielle looked at him with a questioning look. ''We could go see a movie if you'd like.''

He'd offered before he'd thought about it. He sounded like a teenager, and from the look on Tool's face, he wasn't the only one thinking it.

''Hum…we could go see Transporter IV. They said it was a new actor playing…'' he began, but stopped when he saw the offended look on Gabrielle's face.

It brought him back to the first time she'd spoken to him.

''How dare you even suggest seeing that? The previous actor was way better! They ignored everything that made those film what they are! Do you not know what good action movies are? I've got a whole collection that you could have borrowed to get knowledge instead of insulting classics!'' Gabrielle said with passion, and Lee couldn't help but smile at her rant.

Because for a moment, Gabrielle was back, and she was beautiful.

And he was so fucked, but now wasn't the time to lose focus.

''If you bring me to a movie theatre, it better be a classic,'' she warned, and he smiled before he offered her his hand.

They went out, not noticing Tool's flabbergasted expression as they walked past him.

[Lee]

The movie had been great. The fast food had been ok, and then she'd gone to her place to take a shower and change. He'd went out again. He couldn't ignore where this was going, and he didn't like it. It was too complicated, and he knew she just didn't see him that way, not to mention Barney. Fucked.. He was fucked. He had to see her like a friend, to have a reminder that…

He stopped in his tracks. Gunnar's door was open. He looked inside to see Gabrielle standing in front of the mess that was supposed to be a bedroom. He walked closer and noticed that she was crying.

''He's gone,'' she said with a broken voice that made Lee's heart broke.

Even if he hated the guy, it hurt him more to see her sad.

But what really made him mad was the little plastic bag that he saw on the floor. It was half empty.

''Come to bed,'' Lee told Gabrielle instead of swearing against Gunnar.

It wouldn't help her. He could kill him later.

Lee waited for Gabrielle to fall asleep and texted Barney.

[Barney's]

His daughter was asleep in her room. It had been a while; she usually was at Tool's. He thought that she'd gotten better after Tool told him that she'd gone out with Lee, but something happened after and it made things even worse.

She'd been numb before but was now always crying. He re-read his conversation with Lee from two days ago and sighed. Would he go after Gunnar? Maybe it was his only chance. And if not, his daughter deserved at least an explanation.

He left her a note, kissed her hair, and went to his truck.

[Tool]

He could tell that something was going on as soon as he saw Barney.

''Hey Barns, you ok brother?'' he asked, and Barney let himself fall onto one of the chairs.

''She went from not speaking to always crying. I don't know what to do. I feel like I am going to lose her,'' Barney said, and Tool was instantly remembered Gabrielle's words when she was in his apartment with Trench.

It must have shown on his face, because Barney frowned.

''We'll make sure she is ok,'' Tool promised, and for some reason, Barney was thrown back to the night Tool had talked to him about the girl on the bridge.

Then he realized that Tool wore the same expression he did that night.

''How bad was it really?'' Barney asked, also remembering clearly how shaken both Tool and Trench were when they'd come back.

Tool hands began to shake and, after taking a deep breath, he began to talk.

[Gunnar]

He opened his eyes and swore. There was way too much light in the room. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. The morning after always was the worst part. Gunnar looked around and sighed. With all the empty bottles, syringes and pipes laying around, his motel room looked like a real dump.

He looked for his clothes and found them soaking wet in the bathtub. He washed them and passed them under an old blow-dryer. It was getting him nowhere, so he left his clothes to hang while he took a shower.

He closed his eyes and saw Gabrielle looking at him. He saw her trust, her smile…then he saw her hurting and he opened his eyes. He needed to numb the pain. He'd left her after the bike accident. He'd hurt her back at Tool's, and now he…He punched the wall and screamed.

He got out of the shower and put on his damp clothes before looking for anything left from the night before. He hadn't protected her, and it haunted him. He needed to forget. He threw another empty bottle at the door seconds before it was forced opened.

''YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!'' Barney screamed right before he punched him.

Gunnar hadn't seen it coming. Maybe he should have. The fuck if he cared. He'd let Hale and Toll finish him. He'd hurt her. He deserved it. He needed to feel something other than the pain of losing her and the guilt.

Gunnar was about to get back on his feet when Barney took him by the collar. Gunnar may have been tall, but Barney was seeing red.

''You fucking piece of shit! You're high as a kite on the run while Gabrielle is letting herself fucking die,'' Barney said, and Gunnar felt like he'd been slapped.

''She what?'' Jensen asked, and Barney pushed him on the ground.

''The night we came back, she wanted to kill herself to the point where she scared both Trench and Tool. And you, you fucking jerk, she trusted you! And you not only disappeared, but you made damn sure to let her feel like shit before you went out!'' Barney exploded.

Gunnar felt like he was about to get sick. It had been way worse. She needed him, so much, and he'd just left. Worse, he'd been using.

''She deserves better,'' he managed to say, and Barney punched the wall.

''You think I don't fucking know that?! Do you seriously believe that I came here to tell you how good of a choice you're proving to be? But my daughter jumps at every sound, she doesn't talk, she doesn't eat, and there isn't a night that she doesn't wake up screaming in agony while begging for forgiveness. She can't even be left alone!'' Barney bellowed, his voice shaking more and more.

And Gunnar felt like crying as the need to be there for her was surpassing his guilt more and more. He felt like an absolute fucking asshole, but she needed him, and he had a choice to make.

''And do you know what all of those nights had in common?'' Barney asked while a single tear rolled down his cheek.

Gunnar looked at him, waiting for what was surely meant to finish him.

''You. Toll told Tool that every single night, he'd hear Lee pick up Gabrielle from the floor in front of your door. Because every single night, she'd cry herself to sleep while waiting for you to come back,'' Barney said, and Gunnar felt his heart break.

His lungs were on fire. He could feel tears rolling down his cheeks. He was broken, ashamed, and hurt. And he'd done that all by himself.

''So, I am here to beg you to save her. Not because I want you to be the one to do it but because I know that you may be the only one that can help us do it. Listen to me closely: there won't be any second chance. You hurt her again, and I swear to everything we ever believed in that I'll make your death so slow and painful that you'll wish you were never born,'' Barney threatened dangerously, so much in fact that Gunnar felt fear for the first time while looking at him.

''I am sorry Barney,'' Gunnar said, and even though Barney believed him, he was way too pissed off to care about it at the moment.

[Gabrielle]

I was looking at the ceiling in my bedroom, just like I'd been doing for the past two days. The only difference was that my father was gone. An "important thing to do," he'd written on a post-it note.

Well, it wasn't like I'd been there a lot for him since he'd come back. I felt the guilt. I felt sadness, and it was painful, like always. But I was stuck in my head, and I couldn't get out of it. Part of me knew that they'd noticed, the other part was in a sea of tears and pain. I looked at my alarm clock and sighed. It was almost like a ritual now. I fought with myself to not go over to Tool's like I used to. I couldn't do that to myself or to Christmas.

Sleeping beside him had been reassuring before it became comfortable. And then Gunnar's door was opened and empty, and I felt the guilt coming back tenfold.

How dare I felt that comfortable?

How dare Gunnar fucking leave?

I started sobbing, and I didn't even try to contain it. My father was gone anyway. I was alone. I felt my eyes and my lungs burning. The pain was everywhere.

I needed to get out.

[Gunnar]

Barney had stopped at Tool's so he could take a shower and change. Gunnar took the stairs so he wouldn't have to see the guys just yet. He wasn't running from them. He just needed to get to her first.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her asleep on his bed.

[Gabrielle]

I was half-asleep when I heard footsteps.

''Christmas?'' I asked.

''No,'' aid a voice that I would have recognized anywhere, and I started crying uncontrollably.

[Gunnar]

It hurt. It hurt so fucking bad to see her like that. He closed the door, took off his clothes, and lay down beside her. She looked at him, tears in her eyes, and he kissed her gently.

''I am so sorry,'' he said in Swedish. ''I love you.''

She pulled him closer, and he lost control.

[Gabrielle]

I could feel his tears and so I held him closer. I didn't care about the smells of weed and alcohol. I just missed him. I didn't understand what he'd said, but I felt like I knew anyway.

''I love you too,'' I said, my voice shaking. ''Don't leave me again. Please don't…''

''I won't. I was weak, Gabrielle, and I am so sorry. I felt like I failed you and I…'' Gunnar paused, his voice filled with emotions. ''I promise you that I'll do better. I should never have left. I fucking love you so much.''

''I killed them Gunnar,'' I said, and he looked at me straight in the eyes.

''And I still love you, no matter what,'' Gunnar promised, and I gently stroked his hair. ''I always will. You aren't just broken to me. You are everything to me, and I couldn't live with myself because I wasn't there to protect you. I just wish that I'd been able to tell you that instead of…''

He stopped talking, and I kissed him.

''I believe you,'' I said, and he looked at me again. ''I trust you.''

'' You shouldn't. I hurt you. I abandoned you, and I chose drugs over you,'' Gunnar said, and I could see the sadness in his eyes.

''That sadness, I always hated to see it in your eyes,'' I whispered, and he kept looking at me. ''You are so fucking beautiful, and I hate to see your soul tainted with sadness.''

''I don't deserve you. You deserve to be happy,'' Gunnar replied, and I got even closer.

''What if you make me happy?'' I said against his lips.

''Then fuck this. I can't let you go,'' he said before he kissed me as if his life depended on it.

[Barney]

He went back to his home only to notice that Gabrielle was missing. He sighed. This was not going according to plan, even though the plan was shitty at best. He took his wallet and keys and went to Tool's. He was about to get inside the shop when he changed his mind to go see if Gabrielle was ok.

''I killed them Gunnar,'' was all he heard before he went back to the stairs.

She was finally talking. It had worked.

[Tool's]

The guys were still all hanging out in the tattoo shop when he arrived. Only Yang was missing.

''You look like shit,'' Lee commented, and Barney scoffed.

''Well, happy to see you too,'' he replied, and Tool gave Barney a beer.

''So, how is she?'' Tool asked, and Barney sighed.

''With Gunnar upstairs,'' Barney answered ,and Tool looked at him like he'd lost his mind.

Toll and Hale stared at him too, not knowing what to say.

''You left her with him?!'' Lee exclaimed.

''Not your problem Christmas,'' Barney replied, not liking where this conversation was heading.

''She may be your daughter, but it is my fucking problem!'' Lee exclaimed, and Tool looked at him like he'd never seen him before.

''Really?'' Barney asked, clearly pissed off.

''I care about her, in case you've forgotten! Bloody hell, I've been sleeping with her every night since we came back, making sure she was ok and staying with her, for her. Gunnar might have messed up, but I am the one who stayed behind to clean up!''

Barney and Tool looked at him, eyes wide with surprise. They both thought that Lee was only bringing her to a room, checking on her. They hadn't realized that they'd been that close. And despite his constant sarcasm, Lee was not someone who got angry easily. Barney then remembered his conversation with Christmas on the plane and tensed.

''Fuck,'' he whispered to himself.

''Yeah, that's about how I feel right now. I mean…'' Lee paused, and they all looked at him.

Toll felt bad. He was the one hearing them every night. He should have seen that coming, but he didn't. A quick look in Hale's direction told him that his friend had been as clueless as him. Hell, even Tool looked surprised.

''If only you had made an effort for her to be with someone reliable,'' Lee finally said. ''Do you know what it's like to love someone who spends all her time waiting for an asshole who ran away?''

Tool looked at Lee with shock written all over his face. Even Barney was shaken. Lee had liked Lacy. Not loved, liked.

''He made mistakes…'' Barney tried, not knowing who he was trying to convince.

''I know. Fuck, I know. He's had some problems, and I saw as well as you did how terrified he gets when she's hurt. I know he loves her, but he ran, and Gabrielle needs someone stable,'' Lee interrupted.

''You may be right, but tell me who managed to get her trust? Who managed to convince her not to bleed herself to death? I have been watching my daughter letting herself die of guilt for weeks now without being able to even reach her,'' Barney said.

''So what? What I did doesn't matter?'' Lee asked, and Toll felt even worse for him.

He'd heard Gabrielle's screams, and it had been hard for him. He couldn't even imagine what it would be like if he'd been in Lee's place.

''I never said that,'' Barney argued with a tired voice. '' But I went to see if she was ok before I came to join you, and she was talking. Real fucking words. Him leaving didn't change anything for her. So tell me, Christmas, what was I supposed to do?''

Lee opened his mouth to talk, but no sound came out of it. Hale looked at Toll, and his friend sighed. There was no way Gabrielle wouldn't feel bad about this, nor was Gunnar about to stay calm facing Lee after that. They both knew it. They all knew it.

They were fucked.


End file.
